An ultrasound and a walk down memory lane

Today I headed over to the hospital for yet another ultrasound followed by a check in with my doctor. I love the opportunity to see my boys on the big screen, however, these ultrasounds can often take a long time (our longest was almost 3 hours!). I'm learning that getting the right pictures of triplets can often be tricky, especially if they move a lot, as mine seem to. Or at least they move a lot during ultrasound time!

So.... 6 weeks ago, the ultrasound took 3 hours because the boys were moving and squirming and the technician couldn't get all the necessary pictures of the heart. So we were told to come back again in two weeks. We did.... had another long ultrasound..... and still they couldn't seem to get the right pictures. So yesterday, the doctor sent me over to get a more specialized ultrasound by a pediatric cardiologist. This made me slightly nervous. We have no history of pediatric heart disease in our family, but of course, you never know. Anyway, the boys hearts look fantastic, completely normal!

What was cracking me up during the whole process though was how the Doctor couldn't keep track of who was who. She'd scan one and then move to the next but constantly second guess herself. "Wait, is this baby A or baby B? Did I already scan this baby? Oh shoot, I can't keep track". She'd even start talking to them, "Please be still, just for a minute...oh shoot.... he moved!" My boys...... already so cooperative :)

The other thing that cracked me up/ freaked me out is that as I'd be watching one baby get scanned on the screen, I'd suddenly see a foot out of nowhere come into the picture and kick the baby. I wanted to say, "Hey! Be nice to your brother!" It's like they're already rough housing in utero! I know that they're just trying to find space but still, funny to imagine brothers already pushing and shoving each other before they're even born. Boys!

This specialized ultrasound was done at Prentice, the women's hospital which is part of Northwestern. It was the first time I'd been back there since Colin was born. Walking in, I passed the area where the new moms wait with their ity bity babies while the dads go get the car and pull around. They all look so tired, excited, cautious and a little scared. Just how I remember feeling. I also passed the area where the dads valet their car and scurry in with their wives in labor. It took me back to that cold, dark, late night arrival for us. The night that we got to finally meet Colin. I could feel myself getting emotional just seeing these sights and remembering our own journey. I think giving birth is the most magical experience and I'm so blessed to be able to have it. Yes it hurts, yes it's hard but it's also so amazing. I can't wait to experience the birthing process with these boys too.

Labor starting with Colin

 His arrival!

Heading home :)

New Docs

I haven't been good about blogging lately because quite frankly I've been busy puking my guts out and napping with my little man. In fact, today is the first day in almost 3 months that I haven't napped with c! I'm tired, but feeling much much better (knock on wood). I haven't even thrown up in 4 days (but whose counting). Wohoo!

Yesterday we meet with our new doctor. Although it was hard to switch from the wonderful midwife and doctor who delivered colin, we were SOOOO impressed with the high risk team at Prentice. It's one of those rare doctor practices where you feel immediately at ease, welcomed and confident that you're in good hands. Just what we needed!

I had an ultrasound and then meet with Dr. Julian for over an hour. It'd been 4 weeks since I last saw my babies on ultrasound and I was so nervous going into this one. However, everything continues to look great. In fact, the babies were bouncing all around on the screen. So surreal. I still can't feel them moving but took such joy (and relief) watching them moving around on screen.

Meeting with the doctor wasn't quite as reassuring as I'd hoped. I guess that a part of me hoped she would give me a magic solution to avoid early labor, or tell me that somehow I wasn't at risk for early labor. She didn't. She was honest about all the risks that come with a triplet pregnancy. To us it seems like basically I could carry these babies all the way up to 37 weeks becoming utterly uncomfortable (I hope, I hope!!). Or, I could spontaneously go into labor way too early. Since it seems that there is often no way to predict the ways in which things could go terribly wrong, I find there no sense in worrying about it (easier said then done). What I do feel confident about is that this team of doctors are the best of the best for handling any issues that come up. Already, we trust them completely which is a great feeling. And truthfully, I feel an odd sense of peace that everything is going to be just fine.

The biggest surprise came when the doctor said that a vaginal delivery is entirely possible. What??? I'd assumed a c-section would be a given. However, I'm thrilled for the chance to naturally deliver each of these babies. One things for sure though, an epidural will be securely in place this time around!

So that's the news to report this week. Chris and I are getting more and more excited about all these babies. What an unexpected, incredible blessing each one of them is.

Come again?!

Oh boy. Where to begin.

This morning we had our much anticipated first ultrasound. We were excited, anxious, but mostly excited. Anxious because we knew that my HCG counts were a little high- but still within the normal range for a singleton. So- while we wondered about the possibility of twins, we expected to see one baby on the screen. We did not expect this:

The ultrasound technician turned the screen towards me and I saw three dark circles.

From that point forward it was like I was having an out of body experience. I looked to Chris who took my hand. We didn't say anything, just locked eyes.

And then I looked at my sweet, precious little boy sitting on his Daddy's lap, also looking at the screen. I started to cry. Because in that moment all I could wonder was, "How is this going to effect him?!" I knew that being pregnant with triplets could mean bed rest, or worse, early admission to the hospital. I can't fathom being apart from him.

I was still shaking and obsessively staring at the ultrasound picture as we got to the car (which by the way, is a tiny volvo passat). Chris kept telling me that this is going to be okay. "We'll work it out!" he kept saying. And when I look at him as he's saying this, somehow I believe him.

But still, many questions and worries fill my mind. We live in a home, in the middle of the city, that we've been slowly fixing up on our own. It's not near done. How will we fit the babies into our house not to mention our tiny car? There's dry wall bits and tools and unfinished work almost everywhere you look.

I'm worried about the babies development. I'm worried that I'll have to go on bed rest. I'm worried that colin won't get the attention that he needs and sooo deserves. I'm worried about how people will judge us. That's a hard one. I'm sure my husband would say, "Who cares!" but having triplets is like wearing a sign on your shirt that says, "I had fertility treatments!" But we had legitimate medical reasons for using assistance. Not to mention that for soooo many months, even with multiple eggs and an IUI attempt, we had no luck! Negative test after negative test. I guess, when it rains, it pours.

What I'm holding onto right now as my anchor is my awesome husband. One of us had to stay calm in that ultrasound room, and he was. He may have been freaking out on the inside but on the outside he was cool, calm and collected. Just like the night colin was born. I can still hear him saying, "This is going to be okay." "We'll just work it out!"........ I think that I need to hear that mantra a few more times!