Monday, March 14, 2011

32 Weeks!!!

What a difference a day makes! Yesterday we hit that milestone of 32 weeks, which at 29 weeks had seemed so elusive.

 Way to go boys!

Over the past few days the doctors began quietly talking with me about the possibility of going home but didn't bring it up as a serious option until Sunday morning. They said that since I'm 32 weeks, live fairly close to the hospital, stable, and have lots of help at home, that it was my choice whether to stay in the hospital or go home.

For me the decision was a no brainer. As soon as I heard "home" as a possibility, I was pretty much packing my bags. My family was hesitant to see me leave the safety of the hospital, but they know once my heart gets set on something, that there's no talking me out of it.

So by 12:30 on Sunday afternoon, I stepped out into the brisk Chicago air for the first time in three weeks and a short drive later was home.

I know this picture is as cheesy as they come, and truthfully I don't even remember doing this. But it certainly captures how I felt seeing my husband, son and dog standing out front with smiles on their faces.

Colin was initially not as excited as I'd hoped he'd be. Although Chris had prepared him that I was on my way home, he looked confused again, just as he'd been when he first came to visit me at the hospital. I was disappointed in his reaction truthfully. Once we had lunch and settled in, it was time for colin to nap. I also was tired from the move home, so the two of us settled in bed together. He kept staring at me and touching my face with two hands. For a while he didn't say anything and neither did I. Then out of nowhere he gently put his chubby little hands on either side of my face and said, "Home".

My sweet, sweet little boy, adjusting, adapting, and putting the pieces together in his own way, in his own time.

My ever thoughtful mom had homemade lasagna for dinner followed by a little cake and candles to celebrate the boys reaching 32 weeks.

My husband got the boys tiny little onesies to celebrate. For the first time, I let myself hold and look closely at the little outfits and imagined with excitement that they'd soon be filled with babies. Before, I worried that if I did too much imagining about the babies and got too excited to meet them, that maybe my body would stop fighting so hard to keep them in my belly. That may sound crazy, but it's such a mental effort to keep them in every day now and I've made a real effort to just picture them comfy and cozy IN my belly. However, with each passing week, I'm more and more letting myself imagine what they'll be like, smell like and feel like once they're in our arms. How wonderful it will be.

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