Dinosaur slippers and sweetness from a soon to be big time pre-schooler...

Tonight after reading bedtime stories to Colin, he asks for "just one more" before bed.

I know this is coming so I'm prepared.

"Yup, one more story is fine. Then lights out."

He grabs Chris's 'Fine Homebuilding magazine' (as he's done before), and flips to a page that catches his eye.

"Can you tell me a story about this page?" he asks.

I don't even know what these are! Still, I've learned to just go with it. He rests his head in my lap and I tell him a story about how he and his Daddy are working in the basement and all these machines are there but they're broken and he fixes them all. One at a time, he chooses just the right tools from his tool box and fixes them. Occasionally Colin interrupts to clarify something within the story. "No Mommy, not a wretch. I'd need a saw for this one. A SAW!"

I love being a mom of boys.

When the story is done, he asks for "Just one more"(of course!). I know this was coming and hold firm.

It's time for bed.

I tuck him in, kiss him and start to leave.

"Mommy?" he calls out as I'm just about to close the door.

"Yes sweetie?"

"Mommy, I'm going to miss you when I go to school."

His words pierce right through my heart and catch me off guard in a way I don't expect. I thought he was going to ask for another drink or something.

I know dropping him off on the first day of pre-school will be hard. I know he's worried about it and I know that it will take all of my mommy strength to pull it together if when I drop him off  he's crying. We've been talking a lot about school lately.... the fun he'll have, the friends he'll meet. He's excited. He's a little worried. I'm excited for him... I'm a little worried too. Thus far, he hasn't separated from me much (except when I was on bed rest). With few exceptions, we've always had family members babysit if we needed one and we mostly do things as a family otherwise.

Well, you'll be happy to know I restrained the part of me that wanted to burst into tears and dramatically spew, "I'm going to miss you too!! I'm DREADING the moment I have to drop you off and entrust you to people that I don't even really know yet and amongst peers that I don't know yet! This is going to be SO HARD!"

Nope, didn't say what was really in my head. Instead I mumble something about how I'll miss him too but know that he's going to have so much fun. How he's going to learn new things and meet new friends. I tell him how super fun and nice his teacher is. I tell him that I'd be there every day to pick him up.

"Okay Mommy." he says. I notice that he's still wearing his dinosaur slippers which stick out from underneath his blanket. He looks so precious and small.

I know he's going to thrive at pre-school. I love his teacher, her classroom and her approach to helping these little ones develop. I'm happy for him that he's going to have something that's just his.... a space which he doesn't have to share with his brothers. A place that he can meet friends his own age and have new learning adventures.

But still, my heart will ache a little (okay A LOT) on that first day especially, when I drop him off and say goodbye.

It will take all my mommy strength.

P.S- Later Chris and I had quite a good laugh about all the responses I could have given, such as, "Do you want Mommy to stand outside the window of your pre-school, with my face pressed up against the glass all day, just to make sure you're okay? I will if you want me too! I WILL!!!"