Will I ever sleep again??

My dear friend Candace called me this morning and boy was I thankful. She also has multiples, although that wasn't what originally drew us together. Our friendship was forever sealed over tacos in the middle of a Malagasy village, during our time in the peace corps. Who would have thought ten years later we'd also share the bond of parenting multiples? My wish for all parents who have multiples is that they have someone they can call and blab on and on about the challenges that come with multiples and hear someone on the other line say, "I know. I've been there. It gets easier." And my favorite line from Candace today, "I promise, you will sleep again." I sooooo needed to hear that today!

With the exception of a few good nights, the trips have not been sleeping well for what feels like a very long time now. Actually, even as I type this I must admit, individually they are all great sleepers... I don't think I'd have an issue with any one of their sleep patterns if they weren't part of a trio. Collectively they are causing me to be up A LOT at night. At first I attributed it to teething, then back to back colds that hit us hard, then maybe teething again... but who knows really.

All I know is I'm exhausted. Really exhausted. I have such an immense amount of respect for the parents who are all up night with kids and then somehow go into work and hold down a job. Wow.

Some time ago, we stopped waking the other babies whenever the first baby would wake up for a bottle during the night. This is because rather than reinforcing the message that you need to wake up and eat, we wanted to reinforce the message that "you don't! Sleep as long as you can!" But they all still get up for a bottle, just all at different times now. The times are not always predictable either. So sometimes there are a couple hours between each of the babies bottle, sometimes just 30 minutes- or less. I find lately I'm not even able to fall into a deep sleep because a part of me is just waiting for the next baby to wake up and want their bottle.

I'm debating whether or not to drop the middle of the night bottle..... cold turkey. I'd still go in and soothe the babies, but just not feed them. Our pediatrician says they're ready and actually I feel they are too. I just HATE forcing milestones rather than letting them organically happen in their own way and time. At the same time, I need sleep and maybe these boys just need a little push to drop the bottle and in return get a mommy that can see straight during the day....

I don't know, I gotta think on it.

p.s.- lest anyone thinks I'm complaining too much... Believe me, even in my sleep deprived state and even when it's 3 a.m. and I haven't slept yet.... a piece of me is still grateful. Seriously. If you've ever longed for a baby you know what I mean. I'd way rather be loosing sleep over tending to babies then loosing sleep over wishing for one.

p.p.s- if there are a million spelling and grammar errors in this post, it's because I'm so exhausted.... have I mentioned that yet???? :-)

Chris and Carter, this morning at Carter and Finn's cardiology appt (more on that tomorrow). How I wish I could sleep like a baby.... or like my husband who can crash anywhere, anytime!

Sleep, I remember you so fondly....

What has gotten into my good sleeper?!

Since only 4 weeks, my little angel has slept through the night. 10 p.m-4 a.m, and then at 4, he'd come into bed with us, I'd nurse him and he'd easily fall back asleep and sleep until around 8 or 9. It was rare that we didn't get 8 hours.

More recently, he was going to bed at 8 p.m like clockwork. We'd simply place him in his crib, turn on his music box and he'd wave goodbye. He'd get up fairly early but we wouldn't hear a peep from him all night. Then, he'd nap mid day 2-3 hours.

My mother would always comment, "I just can't get over what a good sleeper he is! You don't know how lucky you are!"

And we were always like, "What? All babies don't sleep like this?"

Then, we went on vacation.

And the awesome sleep schedule went to hell.

We can't seem to get him back in his old routine.

He stays up late, as if he's also interested in watching "Top Chef" or "The Bachelorette." Try and put him down and he screams.

He awakens multiple times a night, and hasn't napped longer than an hour at a time, if that.

Last night when he awoke at around 1:00 a.m. we brought c into bed with us. I know, I know... probably putting fuel on the fire.... but we were exhausted and the fact is that he'll usually sleep soundly if he's in bed with us.

But here's the thing. He wasn't sharing bed with us last night. No, no, no. We were in HIS bed. Little c was spread out ( how a 22 lb person can manage to take up a whole bed, I'm not sure), and Chris and I were on the very edges of the bed, not daring to move for fear of waking him.

And actually, sleeping on the two inch periphery of the bed might easily be worth it if he slept the whole night through. But he didn't. He was up at 2,3,4,5..... At one point, he even sat up and pointed to play with one of his toys. Are you kidding me, little man?! There's no playing with toys in the middle of the night!

Maybe he's getting more teeth, I don't know....

All I know is that I hope a two week vacation, where we were all lax about bed time, nap time etc, didn't alter the awesome sleep schedule forever.

Tell me this isn't forever....