Love is

This was a hard week. Not HARD but hard. I feel the need to clarify because I know there are people out there who truly had a HARD week. It only takes reading the news or remembering my Dad recovering from a bone marrow transplant to remember what HARD is. Still, this week challenged me and I'm glad that it's the weekend!

Chris was away on a business trip all week. He left on Monday afternoon for LA (where it was a balmy 75 but who's checking). Not 8 hours after he left did Owen get super sick, as in scary high fever sick. He's still recovering, poor little guy. An ear infection was eventually ruled out and we've basically deduced that he's had a GI bug that's going around and involves horrible stomach pains and high fevers. Also, his two top front teeth were cutting through, so basically a perfect storm of yuckiness and in turn sleeplessness. And when I say sleepless, I mean SLEEPLESS. I really struggle when I don't get sleep. Add to that four stir crazy boys who can't go outside (still too cold-grrrr) and miss their Daddy.

On Thursday, while running through Walgreen's to pick up medicine for Owen, I noticed that Valentine's Day was approaching. I'd almost forgotten yet couldn't miss the aisle of teddy bears, cards, flowers and chocolates. I had to almost laugh because I realized that while other people might be planning romantic days with their loved one, here I was looking haggard as ever, just trying to survive the week.

But then I got thinking about it, driving home from that Walgreen's. What is love? (note to self: contemplating any deep thoughts while severely sleep deprived may cause misty eyes). I thought about that Valentine's aisle in Walgreen's overrun with bears, chocolates, cards and other red and pink items saying "Be Mine" and "I love you". I thought about how although it's nice to shower those we love with material items, that's not where true love hangs out.

So here's what I have to say about love coming off a pretty intense Mommy week, capped off by Valentine's Day:

Love is laying in the most uncomfortable position ever and letting a baby sleep on you all night so he can get some sleep.

Love is getting pooped on and peed on and midnight baths to try and get a fever down. Love is not caring about the poop or the pee or the time of day because helping this little creature feel better is all that matters right now.

Love is waking up to find every one of your babies in bed with you, all cuddled close.

Love is a little boy pausing the incredibly annoying t.v. show Bananas in Pajamas to let you watch some American Idol during a brief reprieve when four kids are sleeping.

Love is peeing while nursing a baby because you know the minute you put him down, he'll cry again.

Love is giving hugs when what all you really want to do is scream.

Love is apologizing when impatience and exhaustion make you less than you want to be.

Love is a nanny who watches all five boys, including the one that's sick, so that this Mama can get some rest. Who despite the whining, fighting, crying and demands that come with so many littles, never once shows anything less than love, patience and acceptance towards them.

Love is neighbors who unbeknownst to you, come over at night and snow blow your driveway because they know your husband is out of town and that your snow blower broke just before he left.

Love is a doctor's office who hears the concern in your voice and despite the fact that the day is ending, squeezing you in just before close.

Love is the little boy who after being tucked in, quietly calls out from the dark, "Mommy can you come here?" Love is wanting to yell, "NO!!! GO TO BED!" but instead going over. Love is when he wraps his arms around you, gives you a kiss and says, "That's what I wanted to give you." 

Love is a husband, though so many miles away knows just what to say, what you need to hear.

Love is a father who takes a red-eye flight just so he can get home to his family earlier.

Love is my own Mama, who says with certainty, "If I weren't 21 hours away, I'd leave right now and come to you." And you know she would. 

Love is a stranger who sees you struggling as you walk into swim practice trailed by four little boys, one who's screaming, two who are fighting and you're running late. She can see you are frazzled. But instead of judging you, she says, "Keep going Mama!" "Keep going Mama, you are doing great!" Then she looks you in the eye and says, "Really, you are." Little did she know that those words would carry me through the week. Through hard parenting moments and late nights, I'd hear those words.
"Keep going Mama."

Love is wine. (errr I mean, love is sitting with my husband, sipping wine and catching up about our week apart).

Love is a husband who shows up at the door with flowers in hand. (GOOD move buddy)

Love is being together again. 

Valentine's Day will not look fancy in our house. But fancy is sometimes empty and real love is sometimes messy and imperfect. This week has reminded me that real love involves giving selflessly without expecting anything in return.

Love is also encouraging each other as mothers. Maybe you've had a hard week too. Maybe you have a sick baby at home. Maybe you haven't slept in days. Maybe you too have been pooped and peed on. Maybe your partner is out of town, or maybe you are a single mom (in which case I give you all the props in the world). Maybe your kids are stir crazy and won't stop fighting, maybe you are snowed in. Maybe your hard week has truly been HARD in which case everything I just mentioned would seem so incredibly trivial. I get that too.

But to all the Mamas struggling this week for whatever the reason, I say to you, "Keep going Mama. You are doing great."

You ARE.

Our traditional *mostly* red or pink Valentine's meal. Owen was sleeping (finally!). We had red smoothies, heart shaped pancakes, strawberries and berry syrup. 

Love is in the air

Today we decorated for Valentine's Day.

While the boys worked, I asked Colin if he knew what Valentine's Day is about. I explained that it's a day about love and he immediately interrupted and said, "Oh like, so... no hitting or biting on that day?"

I'll go with that.

(biting by the way, comes up in conversation a lot in our house lately because one of the triplets- who shall remain nameless- will occasionally use biting as his go to weapon of choice if he wants a toy, is mad, or feels threatened in any way. It hurts!!!! So we're working on it and in turn, talk a lot about using our words and not biting, hitting or hurting each other). 

But back to our lovely Valentine's Day art projects....

Finn- did the most coloring of the trips. He was really into it!

Everett- did the least drawing of the trips. He was not into it.

Carter, at the head of the table, supervising.

Apples and painting

Working hard

Here's some of our finished decorations. I wrote the children's names on each of the hearts that they colored. I'm so proud of their work. It will be fun to get to look out this cheerful window each day when we eat our meals at the table.

Then it was back to playing,

and I even caught evidence of their brotherly love when they didn't know I was watching.

 It's always there. 

These boys teach me so much about forgiveness and moving on. They'll intensely fight over a toy or cry because someone hurt them in the heat of the moment (and possibly left a bite mark!). They may be furious and yell, scream or demand the person gets a time out or something.... but then it's over. And when the fight is over, it's really over. 

They never look back, never hold a grudge.

And the hugs, camaraderie and laughter always quickly return.

Stay that way with each other boys.

Happy Valentines Day!

Yes, I realize that technically Valentines Day was Tuesday, but the day was barely acknowledged amongst all the other "stuff" going on. The babies had an appointment early in the morning, Colin and I tried a new place space late morning (this one, it was super fun!) and the rest of the day seemed to unfold at lightning speed, me barely keeping up.

At some point I was able to sneak out to Walgreen's to get Chris a valentines day card but the car aisle was PACKED. Swarms of husbands, wives and the like were gathered around picking up cards, looking them over and putting them back. All I could think about were all the germs being exchanged in that confined space! And seriously, did everyone in Chicago wait till the last minute this year?! Truth be told, I ended up deciding to just tell Chris how I feel instead of fighting the crowd in aisle three for a card and probably catching a cold in the process. Empty handed I left. Luckily, my valentine couldn't care less about receiving an official card- one of the things I *love* about him.

For the rest of the day, the babies were fussy, Colin was testing boundaries, everyone had a hard time going to bed and it became one of those days you just. get. through.

While Chris was upstairs settling the babies to bed, I was getting something out of the hutch for Colin  and found our somewhat cheesy valentine's day table runner. Oops, I'd forgotten all about it. Later, after all the kids were finally asleep, I found a bag filled with valentine's day napkins and other things that I'd bought weeks ago and then forgotten about.

For a moment I felt really sad. I know we didn't have to use the heart napkins, or eat around the Valentine's Day runner, or make special projects, but I'd wanted to. I was excited to share that with my kids. And now the day was over and it was too late.

Or was it?

There is no rule book saying you can only make Valentines on the 14th, or only use heart napkins on that one day, right?? My boys don't even read a calendar yet or go to school (lucky for me in these situations!).

So we got up on Wednesday and we celebrated Valentine's Day. We ate off the special heart napkins, threw around the word "love" a little more than usual, sat around the table with the cheesy runner and made our own valentines.

Yup, our Valentines Day Wednesday was lovely. There was a little extra spark of love in the air and macaroni covered hearts decorating the walls.

The rest of our week has been a whirlwind, which is why I didn't get a chance to to post this until now. Lots of stuff in the works for the Miller family, exciting and scary all at the same time. On a fun note, lots of birthdays are coming up too! All of my guys have birthdays in March!