Preparing for the invasion!

Yesterday we got word that all three of these sweet boys are scheduled to come home on Tuesday- as in TOMORROW!

I can't even tell you how thrilled I am. I need my babies home!

We're also a bit anxious, nervous.... scared! When at the hospital these days, Chris and I do most of the care for the babies. The nurses have slowly left it up to us. Which is what we want.... but at the end of the day, Chris and I come home just exhausted.

The routine while at the hospital is to check the babies vitals (which we won't have to do at home) and change their diaper (and sometimes also their undershirt and bedding!). Then I nurse the first baby for about 10-15 minutes. They can't sustain a full feeding yet, given that they're still so little, so after the baby seems tuckered out, I pass the him off to Chris to bottle feed. Then on to the next baby and the next, same routine. When all babies are fed, I get to pump! Like I've said, I LOVE nursing.... but I HATE HATE HATE pumping. I think it's so boring and feel like a cow being milked. Sometimes when I'm up in the middle of the night pumping I think "This is ridiculous, maybe we should just formula feed these guys". But then when I'm nursing each of them, I remember why I'm trying to do this. I realize it will be a balance and their may come a time that I have to supplement/ stop nursing for the sake of my mommy sanity but for now I'm giving it a go.

In any case, the whole process, from when we start until the babies are all swaddled back in their beds and pumping is done, takes us at least an hour and a half, almost two hours sometimes. They eat every three hours which means, we get about a one hour break. Granted we are novices and still learning the ropes! I'm hopeful we can get that time down as we get even more comfortable and efficient. At some point when the boys get to be stronger nursers, maybe I can tandem nurse. In the meantime, I'm very curious to see how this will all fall into place once we have them 24/ 7.

Will we ever sleep again?! That's the part that scares me so. 

So yesterday, after learning the boys will be shortly coming home, we ran around the house in a excited/ anxious frenzy setting up swings, washing covers to bouncy seats, moving furniture to accommodate all this stuff, getting the bottles out of their packages to be washed, making sure each changing table on each floor is stocked and ready, making a list for a last minute run to babies r us.... and on and on.

We keep joking that we feel like we're preparing for an invasion!

(Colin, making sure that all the swings are fixed and ready to go!)

Ahhhh! So exciting and daunting..... I can hardly wait until all my boys, Carter, Everett, Finn and Colin are under one roof!

Also, some pictures with my parents. Looking pretty content I'd say....

Meeting the bros

This morning we took Colin up to the hospital to meet his brothers for the first time. I was so excited about this introduction that I could hardly sleep last night. I wanted everything to be just perfect. I laid in bed wondering, "Do we have the camera charged? Is the Flip video camera in my purse? Are his super cute jeans washed and ready? Is his Big Brother t-shirt clean?" I even called the NICU charge nurse at 11 pm last night to request our favorite nurse. 

I think that siblings are the best thing ever and so their meeting seemed so poignant. I'm so happy for them that they will have each other to grow up with.  In my own life, my brothers have meant the world to me. Sure my brother kyle once wore my coveted Notre Dame sweatshirt to high school without my knowing, just to infuriate me, which it did. When I saw him with it on I remember just seething with anger and hating him with all my might. He's also the only person who traveled half way across the world to a small village in Madagascar, to see my life in Peace Corps. He also showed up without notice to the hospital when I went on bed rest, just to make me laugh and hang out. Gavin and I can push each other's buttons like nobody's business, but we also spend an incredible amount of time together. We've backpacked together through Thailand, live less than a mile apart, and have the exact same sense of humor. When I think back on the highest and lowest points of my life thus far, by brothers have been right there to either celebrate with me, tease me, stand with me or make me laugh. And I hope I've been that for them too.

So this morning Chris went into the room first, camera ready, prepped to capture the glorious moment of our oldest meeting his siblings. However, before Colin could go in, the nurse had to take his temperature to confirm that he was healthy. He was not cool with that. Not at all. That got things off on the wrong foot and revealed that this was some sort of place where doctors hang out. He's not so interested in being anywhere near where doctors hang out. 

Eventually he settled from that and we walked in and took him baby to baby. He was VERY curious. We've been talking a lot about the babies at home, and he's been asking a lot about the babies so he had some sort of context but still wasn't quite sure what to make of the whole thing. Whatever he'd imagined when we'd talk about the babies, was different than what he saw. After only a few minutes he started saying, "Go home". 

This was not going how I'd planned.

Then I made the mistake of excitedly asking, "Should the babies come home with us?" In his sweetest voice, he looked right at me and said, "No."

Eventually he settled in a bit and even helped to change a diaper and give them their pacifiers. I think when the babies are home, away from the hospital setting and free of any monitors, it will be better. I hope!

Sweet Colin..... these babies are coming home with us..... I know it will be an adjustment but I also know you will be an incredible big brother and they will look up to you so very much. Even though you may not believe me now, I PROMISE you, someday you will look back on your life and think, "Where would I be?... Who would I be?.... without my brothers." And you will be thankful.

Little Miracles

I saw this quote tacked up to a bulletin board in the nicu today. 

“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” -Albert Einstein

These words couldn't be more true in a setting where babies are so often beating the odds against them.

Today I nursed each one of my boys.


 It was heaven and to me felt like my own little miracle.

P.S- Apparently Albert Einstein was a preemie :)

NICU days go something like this....

Finn, Carter, Everett

Everett

Carter- aka our little Benjamin Button

Finn

As you can see, there's lots of cuddling babies. 

I worried about what it would be like to essentially get to know your babies in the NICU. Before having these guys I'd never set foot in a NICU and the image I'd conjured up in my mind was pretty less than ideal to say the least.

The NICU experience is full of ups and downs, no doubt about that. The babies make awesome gains one day and then take a step back the next. It's to be expected with premature babies who are still so little, but none the less the set backs can feel like a real bummer sometimes.

Overall, getting to know each of these little babies in this setting has been one of the greatest joys of our lives. It truly has. The NICU space is incredibly peaceful and very quiet. We spend all day going baby to baby kangarooing them, feeding them, changing their diapers, soothing them and just getting to know each of their little personalities, which are already revealing themselves. It doesn't feel overwhelming, rather it feels amazing that somehow WE get to be the ones chosen to care for these boys.

We absolutely love it.