6 months, how are we managing?

****Periodically I'll try and update how we're managing the triplets plus one in case it's helpful to anyone else. 

Finley, 6 months

Since the boys just turned 7 months, I was about to write a post about how things are going and I realized that I never wrote one for 6 months.

Here's the truth. I can't hardly even remember the 6th month because that's how tired I was am.

Around the time the boys turned 6 months their sleeping habits turned a bit haywire. What I always say is that individually they are each great sleepers! Individually, they occasionally have a rough night, especially when getting a new tooth, have a cold or are experiencing some sort of developmental shift invisible to the eye but which causes their sleep pattern to go a bit wonky. I know this is a normal part of babyhood.

What I've found extremely challenging, especially around the 6 month age, is that collectively it seemed like someone was ALWAYS up. Their were nights that I'd be up from say 2 a.m. until 6 a.m with one or two babies and then the third, who'd slept well, would be up at 6 a.m. refreshed and ready to start the day.

So for us, this time period was way harder, in terms battling sleep deprivation, then when we first brought the triplets home as newborns. As you might remember, for a long time after we brought the babies home from the hospital, Chris and I slept in shifts and that worked well for us. Shifts isn't an option anymore. Early on, life seemed paused in a sense. Chris took time off work and our only focus was taking it day to day parenting our new babies and helping Colin adjust. But now, life has marched on. Life is back to a new normal and life can't be paused for the luxury of sleeping in shifts.

Around this 6 month time there were days I'd wake up after far too little sleep and think, "I just can't do it today." Maybe you've been there. And then, because the kids are calling for you, you put one foot in front of the other and you just do it. We are mothers.

Thankfully, we've had and continue to have wonderful help and support to help on many of those sleep deprived days.

There's something to be said for just getting up and putting one foot in front of the other when the days seem overwhelming and there's no break in sight. Trudging through the best you can, leaning on others who offer help (a hard one for me), and going easy on yourself (i.e. if the house is a pit and we're all still in our p.j.s when Chris arrives home from work and there's nothing to eat but raisins in the cupboard...It's OKAY).

And most of all repeating the mantra, sometimes in a 3 a.m stupor.... this too shall pass..... 

As a side note, around this time period, my friend forwarded me this post from a blog that we both enjoy. It was about all the things we as mother's try and balance in our life: Quality time with our children, cleaning the house, laundry, family meals, work, sleep, time for ourselves, date night, time with friends, exercise, etc etc etc...... and how depending on what's going on in our lives at any given time, some priorities move to the forefront and some fall behind. She likens this process to a horse race and it really resonated with me. The family dinners that I raved about at 5 months? Went right out the window for during the sleepless 6th month! I was just simply too tired. But what I love about that post, and reading other mommy blogs in general is that I realize I'm not the only one who struggles to find a balance.

That's refreshing.

6 Months!!!!!!

The boys turned 6 months today!!

I woke up to the loveliest of notes, written to me by my husband. It was about how far we've come, his pride for our family and gratitude for our boys. It was so sweet and actually it didn't surprise me very much that he wrote it, because I was feeling the same way waking up today. I understand completely why reaching this milestone of 6 months feels so poignant. 

From the minute I saw three little beans on the ultrasound monitor and started popping those pre-natal vitamins, I've worried. I suppose some of that just comes with being a parent. I worried about their in-utero development, if they'd have enough room, or even darker worries. My worries were often validated  by doctors who reiterated how risky the pregnancy was, then by doctors who explained what could happen if they were born too early. After they were born I worried every time I had to leave them in the nicu. "Would the nicu nurses hold them as close as I would when they cried?" "Could they try and love them the same when I couldn't be there??" I pleaded this to them with my eyes every time I left.

I worried about how Colin would fair, his world turned completely upside down by three babies. I worried that I couldn't survive without proper sleep, that I'd be grumpy all the time, that our marriage would somehow suffer. 

When they came home I worried about flat heads, delayed milestones, gaining weight, Finn's heart condition, and the big one.... spending enough one on one time with each one of them.

So here's why 6 months feels so extraordinary. 

While we were busy worrying, God was taking care of our boys. They're gaining weight, eating well, sleeping well, and chewing everything in sight, including each other. They smile. They laugh. They coo at the top of their lungs- sometimes at 3 a.m. (I'm talking about you, Finn!). They seem to be enjoying themselves so far.

Despite our worries about Colin, he has totally risen to the occasion. He is truly a wonderful big brother that has so far adjusted beautifully. 

And at 6 months I now can't hardly remember or even imagine life without them. 

The most common thing people say when they see all six of us coming is, "Wow. You have your hands full!" Some people take it further and say inappropriate things or make statements to indicate that in no way would they EVER want to trade places with us. Those people seem to assume that life must just be miserable trying to care for triplets plus one.

During these moments, we now just smile because truthfully WE ARE SO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY. Is it hard? Yes. Is it crazy at times? Oh yeah. But is raising our triplets plus one the most fun we've ever had and the greatest honor? For sure.

I wouldn't trade the journey we've had to get to this point, or our crazy lives with these boys for anything in the world. 

Carter, Everett and Finley, we have such gratitude for each one of you. You keep proving to us, to worry less, have faith and enjoy the ride. 

I asked Colin if he wanted to get in the picture. He said, "No" and then grabbed a toy giraffe and started flying around saying, "Smile babies!" He thought his job was very important- and it was!

12:30 p.m. September 29. From left to right, Carter, Everett and Finley.