I think I can... I think I can...

I haven't been posting regularly this past week because it's hard to know what to say without sounding like I'm just complaining. You would think I have soooo much time on my hands to return calls, e-mails and write. But the truth is, tolerating this new level of uncomfortability has been all consuming.

The weekend started out wonderful. My mom came to visit and helped more than words can express. On Saturday we even went to Target to buy a few things for the babies. Here I am rolling around Target on my scooter:

By the way, returning to Target after being away for so long, felt like a true slice of heaven.

When we got home, my mom let me sit in a reclining chair and direct her on where to put this and that for the babies...... for hours. You can't do that with many people, thats for sure. Only a mothers love can tolerate and maybe even enjoy an afternoon such as this.

We decided that on each floor we'll have a changing table and keep lots of onesies, sleepers, blankets and other supplies at each of these stations. That's the plan at least. So we spent the day filling each "station" with supplies. Here's Chris putting together the crib and one of the changing tables:

Then sunday I woke up at 5 a.m. with contractions which lasted for about 6-7 hours, stopped and started again in the evening. They never got worse but they were impossible to ignore. What was different about this series of contractions was intense back pain that kicked in mid morning. I wasn't sure if it was back labor, which I never experienced with Colin, or if it was just pain from the babies positions. In any case, it was a long day.

Monday was the same experience. Tuesday, I went to see the doctor and explained to her how I was feeling, which is basically like my body is being pulled apart in some sort of midieval torture device. I feel tremendous pressure, intense back and side pain, and rib pain all the time. I even packed a bag for the hospital thinking that once they heard how much pain I was in, surely they'd send me over to have the babies. I just couldn't see how this could continue. Instead, the doctor kindly explained that this is often the point in a triplet pregnancy where discomfort can reach a new level. She said I can take tylenol around the clock, something to help me sleep and if needed, I can take even stronger pain meds. On ultrasound, each of the babies measured around 5 lbs and long. They are simply running out of room and trying to find additional space.

So back home we came.

On one hand, I'm happy that they didn't send me over to the hospital because obviously I know it's best for the babies to keep cooking. I'm also thankful that they're big for their gestational age. I just pray that I can endure for them.

They're somehow not giving up so how can I?

33 weeks!

Trips, you made it another week! I can tell that you're growing too, because this belly I thought could not feel any bigger or heavier, just keeps getting bigger and heavier.

It was so good to be home this week. Every morning I woke up to my husband and son next to me in bed, got to kiss my husband goodbye before he left for work, ate breakfast with Colin on a makeshift table in our bedroom, and didn't have a stream of doctors and nurses coming in to check on me. It was peaceful and relaxing.

Chicago temperatures hit the mid 50's this week and it felt like the first taste of spring. I even saw our crocuses peaking out of the soil in the front garden. On days that I felt good, I walked downstairs and sat out on the front porch watching Colin and my Dad do yard work together. One day it was so nice (and obviously I have nothing else on my the agenda) that I literally sat out there for hours just watching c play, talking with my dad, watching people pass by, and enjoying the sun. When was the last time I slowed down enough to do that?  

Physically, this pregnancy is getting harder and harder. I hadn't a clue how a triplet pregnancy could at times feel so darn heavy and uncomfortable (not to mention the roller coaster of contractions that come and go). But during those moments I try and remind myself that my only "to do" for the day is just to carry these boys one more day. Breaking it down into hours and days makes it seem much more manageable. 

One of my favorite times of the day is just before bed when I take a shower. I get out my awesome shower chair, turn on Nora Jones which I swear the babies also love, and let the hot water just run and run and run. It's just my me and my babies and I think, "We made it through another day".