Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The First Snow Day

Today was a snow day and it's also a day that I have no help with the boys. It was just the boys and I all day long, while a freezing blizzard raged outside.

There were some good times..... we did crafts and I hid items around the house for the boys to find. We played trains and trucks and bristle blocks and pretended to have a band together. We made cookies.

Still, there were so many hours to fill and in between the easy breezy times were fights over turn taking and whining out of boredom and boo boos and an 18 month old who didn't want to nap even though it would have been the perfect day for him to take a great nap.

Really the kids were just being kids. They're just little boys and it's important to always remember that. But sometimes the noise and the constant activity and being climbed on and needed EVERY SECOND FOR HOURS ON END, starts to feel so overstimulating to me. Did I mention the noise volume??

When Chris finally pulled into the driveway, the boys were running laps around the first floor while making truck noises and tackling each other. When Chris finally walked through the front door, I couldn't help but burst into tears. All the hard of the day, let out in that moment, in those tears.

Chris took the boys outside to shovel the driveway, while I cooked dinner and re-calibrated. He is a good man and knows when I need a break! Dinner was followed by bath and books and bed. By the time the boys were tucked in their beds, I felt completely spent and guilt ridden for the moments that I was less than patient with the boys. I sat in their room listening to them one by one fall asleep (because if one of us doesn't sit in their room they'll fool around!).

 I thought they were all asleep but still had to say it. One more time today.

"I love you all so much."

And little Everett half asleep, who coincidentally gave me the most run for my money today, quietly and with certainty said. "And me love you too, Mommy. So much me love you too."

"And, again, I can’t repeat this too much: If you try to be perfect, you’re trying to be nonhuman. The most important human quality you have as a family is your warmth and your spontaneity and your emotionality and if you try to be perfect, you’re going to do it in a rigid way. So, to be human is to be emotional. If you do the important things it means that you’re going to also have both strengths and weaknesses and life is an ongoing process of keeping these in balance. So, that’s what you need to remember."

Stanley I. Greenspan, M.D. Web-based Radio Show December 2, 2004

(A therapist friend of mine recently posted the above quote from Dr. Stanley Greenspan, a child development specialist and someone who was a huge influence in many people's lives and careers, including mine. I first read his words as a young therapist, with the families I work with in mind. Today, I read his words and think about my own family too. He was such a wise and gentle man.)

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