Thursday, May 16, 2013

"Are those ALL your kids?"

Today was the official opening of the Farmer's Market. We were SO excited!!! Love love LOVE the Farmer's Market.

Jordyn, who helps me with the boys, and I loaded up the kiddos and headed there this morning. We took two double strollers.

And here are just a few of the questions we got during the approximately 45 minutes we were there:

"Are those ALL your kids?"

"Are you running a daycare?"

"Those aren't ALL your kids are they?"

"And you're having another?!"

"Is this next one multiples too?!"

"Aren't triplets rare??"

"Are they quads?"

And overheard by people not whispering very well:

"She has TWO sets of twins and look, another on the way! Omg!"

Seriously people! I know you mean well, but some of these questions and the way that they are asked, come off a little rude.

When out and about, we've always heard questions like the above... and sometimes even more personal ones- from complete strangers. Especially when we'd go out with the choo-choo wagon. In a way, we've gotten used to it but still, I'd thought that this summer might be different because the boys are older and besides, today we took two strollers, instead of the choo-choo wagon.

Again, I know people mean well and are just curious but making flippant remarks about me "Sure having my hands full!" or saying "Better you than me!" or even asking highly personal questions about how my children were conceived, especially IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN is not cool. They're getting older and they hear you. They don't think our family is unusual at all as this is all they know. I usually laugh the comments off but sometimes I'm tempted to give a real inappropriate answer that would shut people up quickly. I wish I had the guts.

I remember once being at the park when the triplets were still babies, when an older woman quietly leaned over to me and asked, "Are those triplets? And you have a toddler too?" 

Oh boy, I'd thought. What inappropriate question/ comment is she going to say next? (because there usually was one)

But all she said was, "What a blessing"

I've never forgotten that comment. Because she got it.

She got it right. Our boys are each a blessing. The end.

The boys, tonight, rockin' their new haircuts!
Left to right, Everett, Carter, Colin and Finn


Fatcat said...

I always felt like having my babies was like winning the lottery and I won 3 TIMES!

Lucky you.

Anonymous said...

I love it! I have a friend who is the mother of quads and another friend who is the mother of triplets. They have both told me some of the crazy things people say. And my husband's grandmother was the youngest of 18 children. She said she had the happiest childhood - always someone to play with! Just goes to show - the more the merrier! Congrats on your upcoming addition!

3 Frogs and a Princess said...

Such a blessing! As a mother of 4 I have heard all of the above. And I wouldn't change any of my kids for a million dollars. Yes, my hands are full. Full of the most amazing little people ever. I so wish people would think of them as blessings instead of handfuls!

SUEB0B said...

Pretty much the ONLY comment I'm ever going to make about family size is "What a nice big family you have!"

Christine said...

I feel your pain. I have five children, including a set of twins. I would get a lot of these same questions. My kids are older now (two of them have already moved out) and now that my twins are 13 people don't even realize they are twins (they are boy/girl twins) so we don't get as many rude comments anymore. But it was crazy in the early years. I've even had people ask me if they all have the same father. I know people are just curious and don't even realize they are asking often very personal or even rude questions, but it does get a little old. You have a beautiful family! And congrats on your new bundle of joy!

Multiblogging Mum said...

I'm a Mum to 7 beautiful children, including 2 sets of twins.
And I hear you loud & clear on the things that people say!
The one that irks me the most is "Didn't you have a tv?"!!!

You have beautiful children and yes they are all a blessing!!

Dawn said...

Love this post! I have three kids under 4 (ages 1, 3, 4) and had it not been for such a rough last c-section we'd have gone for one more. I can't ever go out with the kids without multiple "Are they all yours?" type comments and, even though I don't think people intend to be rude, it does get tiresome! It is always easy? No. But it is certainly a blessing, especially when I think about my friends that have lost pregnancies or took years to get pregnant. Congrats on all your beautiful children!

Rae said...

Amen to what FatCat said!

I have 6 children; Each and every one is a blessing, even #7 and #8 in heaven are blessings to my heart daily.

My usual responses to people who say, "You sure have your hands full" is Yes, it sure is and so is my heart! That usually makes them think. AND I have never ever had an older person say something other than kind words about having a large family. I've even had a few offer to help a time or two just so I could sip coffee sans interruption or noise.

My most hated comment "Don't you know how that happens?" or some variation of that. My favorite reply is, "I sure do and it's fun! Maybe if you had a little more in your life you'd be less concerned about mine." I mean, REALLY? sheesh, what makes people think it is any of their business anyway.

As a mother of three girls and three boys (3 children now teenagers) my only concern for you is your grocery bill when those boys hit 11/12 years old. Because let me tell you, forget the college fund, start saving for those teenage boy eating habits. LOL OHMYPICKLES can my boys eat!

And if you ever have a bad day, I mean a really, really bad day, the kind that makes you want to cry because the demands are so stinking high and you are tired and you think you can't go on without a break...go read my post titled Poop Talk (linked on my sidebar). You will instantly feel better. I promise. I didn't link it because I didn't want to spam or anything seeing as I've never commented here before. But it will make you feel better.

Michael Lombardi said...

People are so insensitive. If I saw you I might wonder if they were all yours or if there were some neighbor kids in the mix, but I wouldn't say anything. The first reason being it's none of my business.

Julie @ Living on the Ledge said...

I just found you via BlogHer. Your family is not unusual at all, and I just wrote a post around these same sort of ideas. (The things people say that sometimes they just shouldn't.) I think you're right - the woman who said, "What a blessing." said it perfectly. And your family certainly is a blessing!

Julie @ Living on the Ledge said...

Your family is not unusual at all - nor should your children feel that way! I just found you via BlogHer, and I recently wrote a post about this same thing - some of the insensitive comments people make! I love the last woman you mention, "what a blessing!" How true that is! Congratulations on your beautiful blessings. :)

Anonymous said...

my twins are lil boy savageeess !! but gotta love em there 2 year old toddlers