Friday, September 28, 2012

Back to school, for me too

Fall has brought a few changes to the Miller household.

Colin wasn't the only one who went to school this fall.

I started back in my grad school program on the very same day that Colin started school, after taking a looooooong leave of absence (two leave of absences actually).

My journey career wise has been that I graduated with a degree in Occupational Therapy, spent two years in the peace corps doing health work and then returned stateside and worked in the area of pediatrics for quite a few years. I loved it! I met some of my best friends through work, was challenged every day, inspired by the incredible families I've been blessed to work with and was somewhat of a geek. I was passionate about this OT stuff and attended as many continuing ed courses, study groups and learning opportunities as I could. My geeky work friends did too. Wine and discussions about the vestibular system- what could be better?

Then I decided to pursue my PhD simply because I was passionate about the material and wanted to learn more. Specifically, I wanted a chance to learn from professors involved in this particular program.

Then I had Colin.

Everything changed.

 Suddenly, going back to work, and going back to school took a WAY back seat to simply being around him. I know not everyone has the choice whether to stay home or work and some people would prefer not to stay home. I've been blessed to have that choice and staying home is where my heart has been ever since I laid eyes on Colin. My pre baby plan was to almost immediately go back to school after having Colin, and I did.... for a few days.... it just wasn't working for me. I was too preoccupied with my baby.

I eventually went back to work on Saturday mornings and started taking a few classes again when BOOM, triplets!

Work stopped, school stopped (again) and for the past almost two years, my life has been consumed by my boys. There was no room for school. But also, I had no desire for school or clinical work. 

My complete lack of interest in even studying the material I was once so passionate about scared me a little. I wondered if it would ever come back. 

It didn't for a long time, however, this past summer I started feeling the itch to see clients again and to re-engage my brain in this stuff that I was am so passionate about. 

So I decided (with a slight push from Chris) to try and take two classes this fall and perhaps eventually see a few clients. 

Returning to the professional world has felt a little weird.... yet good. Weird and good. 

I feel rusty, out of the loop and less confident in my ideas. I feel nervous to even raise my hand in class. When I ask a question, my voice shakes.

Let's be real, if the class discussions were about anything teething, diapering, about quad strollers, or poop related, I'd have a lot to contribute. These things I know well because I live them with my littles everyday.

I feel most confident around my boys. 

Mothering them.

Time will tell how this back to school thing plays out. 

But for now, I'm enjoying using parts of my brain that I haven't used in a while and slowly remembering what it felt to be "in it" so to speak. Also, I like having a reason to go sit in the library to read articles. It's soooo quiet there :-)

In other news, we hired someone to help us with the boys!! We've been looking since the beginning of August but hadn't found the right person (we had a few potential candidates even take themselves out of the running! Seriously! Apparently, one look at the chaos of our house is enough to make some people suddenly "move out of state") haha.

No matter because we have found someone truly wonderful. This was her first week and what a difference her presence has made already. Like today, we took the boys to the library for story time. Afterwards, she hung out with the triplets while they watched an aquarium full of turtles and Colin and I got to stroll around and pick out books to check-out. It was so delightful.

Everyone was so content and able to enjoy themselves, even me. :)

1 comment:

Karen said...

This post made me smile. So happy for you and perhaps inspired :)