Friday, January 13, 2012

Flying solo

So.... Chris was away on a business trip this week. It was the first time since the babies were born that he's travelled and I was a little nervous to have the boys by myself! Our amazing helper Amelie still came during part of the day. Thank God! But late afternoon, dinner, bedtime, nighttime and mornings were all mine.

All mine.

The first night was rough. I was up a lot with the boys (one teething, one with a stuffy nose, one whose diaper leaked through his pjs, and one who kept saying, "I can't sleep mommy"). I also think I was adjusting to not having Chris here and in turn just didn't sleep as well. When Chris and I were first married he traveled each week and to a certain extent I got used to it. But now, I'm used to having him home, next to me each night and that consistency gives me peace.

Over the past year, together we've fallen into a new groove parenting these boys. Sure, we occasionally bicker over who's done what lately because really, there is SO much to do and sometimes it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking somehow you are the one doing the most. Well, it only takes having to truly do it all yourself for a few days to realize what the other person really does. And our Chris, holy cow does he do a lot.

My husband is amazing in how he embraces this parenting thing full gusto and in how he supports me. AMAZING. I've always known and appreciated this about him.

But he's also the one to empty all the trash cans and dirty diapers at the end of the night. Each night, as I would tiptoe into the alley scanning for rats and terrified I'd run into one, I felt extra appreciative that he tackles this chore without even asking me to- ever. He cleans the kitchen each night (which in the past I've noticed, but this week I really noticed because man, after I've already cleaned it a few times during the day and made dinner, I do not feel like doing it again). Each night, he gets the babies bottles ready for for the 10 pm feeding and usually gets a load of laundry going whenever he goes up and/ or down the stairs. We always do the 10 pm feeding together. It's not something we ever talk about or plan, we just always seem to tackle it as a team. This week, gathering up the bottles and diapers and doing the night feeding alone felt like way more work, and much lonelier.

I think, and maybe especially when juggling a gaggle of kids, it can be easy to fall into a habit of taking for granted all that your partner does. I know I take Chris for granted sometimes.

Chris and I often joke about how there is no break parenting triplets plus one. But that's not really true. Because all I have to say to him, or vice versa is "I need a break" and we instantly know it's imperative to figure out how to make that happen for the other person. Sometimes it can only be for a few minutes or a quick errand but it's needed and can make all the difference.

We're a good team he and I, and I've missed him so.

Today he's coming back and I can't wait to meet him at the door with our boys, kiss him and hug him and welcome him home. And tell him how much I appreciate him.

And then I'll probably say something like, "I need a break!" because I after almost 4 days with 4 kiddos, I do!!!

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