Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Loosing it

Yesterday sucked.

The bean in my belly is making me feel very sleepy (not complaining! just the facts). I found that when it came to dealing with the current ever exhausting nap time, I just couldn't deal. I lost my patience. I disappointed myself.

Nap time has become such a battle and has clouded what I even feel is best for my child and our family. It's making me crazy. I'm trying SO hard to get c to nap in his crib, in his room and he's pushing back equally as hard. There are many tears (from the both of us) and yesterday after all was said and done, I had to wonder, "Is this worth it?" Chris and I talked and talked about it. Ultimately wondering, "If he does nap in our bed, is that SO bad?" I keep coming back to, "Well, he should just be in his own crib!" But I don't know why. I guess I worry that he'll never nap in his own space if we don't put the kibash on this now. That we'll have a new baby at home and a toddler who sleeps wherever he wants, only if he wants and is cranky as a result. I worry that if I don't have a set number of hours that I know I can study, that I'll never finish my PhD., or eat lunch or get a load of laundry done.

Ultimately we need to give our kids what THEY need, not what WE need (within reason). And I think that allowing c to nap in our bed, provided that he actually sleeps the hours that he needs, is within reason.

So I think that's what we're going with today. I just wish my maternal instinct would kick in and I'd just know what the right thing to do was. Nothing feels 100 percent clear as the right approach to take with this.

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