Tuesday, April 19, 2011

One week home!

We've made it through the first week at home! In truth it has been easier than I imagined (knocking on every piece of wood in this room...). The first night home Chris and I stayed up together through the night to feed the babies (they eat every three hours right now), sleeping for short bursts in between feedings. By morning we were exhausted and immediately decided that we could handle feedings on our own and divided the day/ night into shifts. As a result, we're each getting at least 6 hours of straight sleep per day/ night. We've also had amazing help from my parents and many meals dropped off by friends, which has helped more than words can express. 

The hardest part, if there is one right now, has been accepting my own limitations for what I can/ can't give these babies. I wish that I could nurse them all on demand, but I'd loose my mind. I wish that I could immediately pick each of them up as soon as they cry but if I'm at the changing table with one, or feeding someone a bottle, the others need to wait a minute. It's a constant juggling act. 

This is a totally different experience than mothering one newborn baby. Not better or worse, just different. With my first born I never had to think about how much I'd held him over the course of a day. However with these boys, I sometimes wonder, "Did I hold each of them enough today?" Like all babies they have their individual differences and unique needs. One's a champion nurser and would love to nurse all day if he could. Another loves to be held and is happiest in my arms. Still another is so content that if I don't watch myself, I could forget that he needs to have time to eat first and be held too! When I notice myself getting overwhelmed by these factors, I try and remind myself to just savor this experience for what it is and stop worrying about what it isn't. Most importantly I try to stay in the moment with each of them, with whatever we're doing, and enjoy the ride. 

12:50 a.m, watching my babies sleep.

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