Dear Little C,

This stinks, doesn't it?

On Tuesday, we took our usual nap together and then I slipped out of bed to head to my doctors appointment. I didn't kiss you goodbye because you have a cold and I didn't want to wake you. I told pop-pop to watch the monitor to see when you got up and that I'd be back shortly. And then mommy didn't come home and neither did daddy. I'm sure that was confusing to you even though you're having fun with pop-pop and uncle g. I'm pretty sure pop-pop is feeding you jelly beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

What kept me going through the night on Tuesday was picturing your little face and thinking about seeing you the next day during visiting hours. You can't even begin to imagine just how much I miss you- waking up to your cries, the sound of your tools constantly working on projects around the house, the way you always want "jus" (juice) lately and request it so politely, or are scolding "lolaave" (olive) for something. I miss your spontaneous, sneak attack tickles that you think are just so funny these days.

When you were finally able to come visit today, I could see that you were scared and confused. You happened to arrive just as a team of doctors were gathering around me. You clung to daddy and kept pointing to my IV. When I said that the IV was just there to give food to the babies in the belly, you didn't buy it. You knew it was an "owie" no matter what daddy and I said, and were very concerned. One by one your animals came over to inspect the IV, and when I'd ask if cow thought it was scary, you'd nod "yes". As many times as we tried to reassure you, you were still skeptical about this whole situation. Who can blame you?




Little c, we love you so much. Soon we'll all be hanging out together again, a bigger bunch, but with a lot more time and predictability. Mommy will be able to pick you up again, swing you around and run around around the house with you when you chase me with tickles. You're going to be the best big brother little man. Hang in there with us, very good days are ahead. I promise you.