Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Didn't work

It didn't work.

IUI didn't work.

On good days, I realize that each person/ couple/ family has their own challenges.
And this is just ours right now.

But in my darker moments, I'm just pissed. I lay in bed at night and wonder, why? Why us? We love being parents, we're fairly good at it (or at least we try real hard), we're good people.....
Every time I hear about yet another friend who has suddenly become pregnant, or become pregnant, "without even trying!" I just feel so jealous. There, I admitted it. I do, I feel jealous.
Our insurance covers a measly next to nothing for lifetime fertility benefits. After one IUI, we're almost through the allotted amount.
That's another thing I worry about in the middle of the night. How will we pay for all this?
And then I just get sad/ annoyed/ pissed again.

Usually, I give myself one day to feel this way, drink as much coffee as I want, and then move forward. That's the only thing to do. I want to meet the rest of my babies. I want to watch them grow and play with c.

What also helps me look forward is having a miracle walking around next to me all day.
In this face, I'm easily convinced that life is good, there's lots to be thankful for, and things will work out.

I love this picture of little c. It captures his sweet, curious, live in the moment, life is so good and exciting kind of attitude.
I can learn a lot from him.

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