Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Body armor for babies?

This morning my precious baby boy fell off our bed and landed on his head. I was standing RIGHT THERE next to him. I'd set him there, on the bed, so that I could get dressed for the day. And in the split second moment that I ever so slightly turned to reach for a shirt, he flipped off of the bed. The space in time between when I saw him hit the floor and when I knew he was at least still alive was probably the worst moment of my life.

Frantically and in tears, I called the doctor while holding my sobbing little man close. Off we went to the Doctor just to be sure he was truly fine.

He was. Other than the egg on his temple, he is fine. Oddly enough, just 10 minutes after it happened, he was somehow smiling and showing our dog Olive his new trick- hand clapping. How could he be okay after falling off the bed?!

Again, the little man is fine. I, on the other hand have been in tears on and off all day. I kept holding him with tears in my eyes saying over and over how sorry I was. He just looked at me like I was nuts. And let's face it, I probably am.

But I feel like my primary job is to make sure that he's safe and healthy and on my watch, he fell off the bed. Had this happened on anyone else's watch, I'd be furious with them!

My thoughts tonight as I head to bed are that 1. I need to somehow forgive myself and 2. I need to look into buying some body armor that he can wear for the rest of his life

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