Thursday, October 8, 2009

I'm a blogger!!

All my life I've keep a journal. Well, not all my life, but certainly during periods of transition. I kept a journal when I was 13 after my brothers, parents, our dog and I moved to Michigan from NY. It's not easy starting a new school at 13 years old! I digress....

I kept a journal when I left for college, and later, during my 2 years in the peace corps. There was something so cathartic about writing out my thoughts and experiences. I remember feeling so clear about who I was, what I wanted, and knowing that I'd have a record of the moments that really mattered. Journaling allowed me to express, to adapt, to vent and to grow. Of course, when you're living in a small village in Africa, you have a lot of time to write and think..... and write and think. But since moving back stateside, working full time, seeing my Dad through cancer, meeting the love of my life, trying to be a good wife, going to grad school,  buying a house, and now raising a little man..... somehow journaling got put aside. Where did years 25 through 32 go?! I know what I did... it's what I just listed. However, I don't remember as many moments as I wish I did. Journaling forces one to slow down and think, take in, process. Now that I have my little man, I am determined to record this time. 

I love my husband. I love my new little man. Being a mom is the biggest thing that's ever happened to me. I cannot get over that this tiny little man, this amazing creature with my eyes, my husbands lips and a smile to melt your heart has come into our life. I wasn't prepared for this sort of love. But it's here and I'm going to do my best to be the best mommy I can be for him. 

Back to why I'm starting this blog....I do feel like I'm in a state of transition. There is life before March 4th, 2009 and there's life after. And as much as I love this new creature and feel blessed beyond measure to be able to stay home to care for him, it's hard work. Motherhood forces you to grow and reflect in ways unimaginable before. I look at him and see him growing and changing right before my eyes. I am too.

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