Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Dear boys,

Oh boy.... tomorrow you each turn one year old. 

I should be asleep but instead I'm down here cleaning up, hanging decorations, looking through old pictures and reminiscing. 

Has it really been a year? 

I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not prepared for tomorrow on many levels. 

You'll learn as you grow that planning ahead and organization are not two of my strong suits. I mostly fly by the seat of my pants and try and adapt as I go along. So there are no firm plans for tomorrow although I did run out and get balloons and party hats. Your Dad took off work though and we're going to all be together.... having fun together and celebrating each of you... all day long! At some point Colin and I will sneak out to get cupcakes and I think I might make a pizza.

Carter, Finley, Everett... you are each so unique, so special, so loved. You each look so different and have very different personalities that really shine. You are also so connected to each other. I marvel at the fact of how often you seem to move as a group. For example, you'll all be gathered around the activity table and then as a sort of herd, you'll scurry over to the next thing, like playing in the mirror. It's really fascinating.... and cute.

This year has flown by and yet I almost can't remember life without each of you a part of our family.

Today as I was driving home from getting the balloons, I was thinking about that morning, when the ultrasound revealed a picture of three little sacs. I was so afraid, for your health, how your big brother would experience it all, and whether I could handle being a mom of triplets, with all that entails. I was afraid that I'd let you down.

But you have taught me to stay in the moment and not borrow trouble, to just take each day as it comes and that a deep breath, a willingness to be very silly, and faith, can go a long, long way... And phenomenal help from friends, family and Amelie. SO many people prayed for each of you, brought meals for your tired parents for months on end, helped feed you, hold you, care for you and just plain gave us support.... in lots of different ways.

From the moment we went into early labor the mantra, "One day at a time" seemed to stick in my head.... and that's what we did all year... we took one day at time and somehow here we are. You are healthy, happy, amazing little guys. And you're turning one tomorrow.

I'm getting the feeling I could ramble all night..... it's so hard to put any of this past year into words. Just know that we love you so so much. We are so proud of you, so thankful for each of you and so happy that we get to be your parents and watch you grow.


Also, I can't write a post to my babies without acknowledging Colin, the best big brother ever. Today, we were all sitting out on the front stoop waving goodbye to a friend. I was holding Finn, Amelie had Everett and Carter was sitting on the other side of me. "I want a baby too!!!" Colin yelled. "I hold Carter!" So I put Carter in his arms and realized that I actually trusted him to hold him tightly and not change his mind and let go. When it really counts, he looks out for his brothers.


Off to bed boys.

I love you.


Amy said...

Happy birthday to your sweet, adorable boys! And congratulations to you, Chris and Colin for giving them such a wonderful first year. My how time flies.

Mama to four little blessings! said...

Thank you Amy! And I'm afraid you are right.... we are moving... I'll post more details this week. Just plain ran out of room here in the city with these boys. But it's very bitter sweet to leave Chicago. I'd love to see you before we go!