Monday, July 18, 2011

One foot in front of the other....

Some days are hard

Some days it's so blatantly obvious that there's not enough of me to go around

Like today

I had the four kids alone all day and it seemed that someone was always crying. On two different occasions they were all crying. I felt so helpless and inadequate.

We attempted to get out of the house for a play date. While we were there I had tons of help from other amazing moms and enjoyed having adult conversation. But it took us over an hour to get ready to go and at least two of the babies and/ or Colin cried all the way there and all the way home. I had wonder if it was worth all the effort and tears. 

On days like this I can feel the guilt start to creep in... and that annoying voice whispering, "They're not getting enough of you.... You can't successfully give all these babies the individual attention they need....". I have to silence that annoying voice as quickly as possible or else it will cause me loose focus on the bigger picture and what I can do. 

Which is that no matter how crazy or overwhelming the day gets, I can still put one foot in front of the other and try my very, very best, again and again, to give them what they need and deserve.

That's what we do as moms.


Holy perfect timing. 

The babies had finally stopped crying and fallen asleep while I was writing my thoughts above.

But then I had to stop writing to answer the door. It was the postman and he asked me to sign for a package.


A beautiful new dress from my husband, to wear this saturday night, at a wedding we're going to.

Well knock me down with a feather!

I took off my spit up laden clothes right there in the kitchen and tried on my new dress.

Most days I'm in cut off jeans, a t-shirt covered in spit up, wearing my hair unbrushed and haphazardly pulled back in a pony tail. I haven't touched my make-up bag in forever... 

 he still thinks I'm beautiful.

Listen, I was either going to cry from pure exhaustion or have a moment of complete and utter silliness in my new dress. On this day I chose silliness.

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