It's been way too long

since I last blogged. There's so much to report that I'm just going to cram it all in to this one post!

Here it goes:

• Round two IUI process began two weeks ago. Shots each day, trips to the suburbs for ultrasounds, a VERY well behaved little boy waiting patiently in his stroller (I can only hope that he didn't see anything that will scar him for life), a trigger shot last Friday and the procedure completed by Sunday. Now the waiting has begun. I'm cautiously hopeful.

• Chris and I went away overnight last weekend. Gramma and Pop-Pop watched c while we went downtown and stayed at the Wit. It was FABULOUS. We knew c was in amazing hands with peeps that love him as much as we do, so it was easy to completely relax and just enjoy each other's company. We had drinks on the roof, dinner at Smith and Wollensky along the river and watched some T.V, and pretended we were on vacation. Even the air conditioning breaking in the middle of the night couldn't ruin our "vacation".

• Oh, and in the midst of all of this, my brother Kyle and his wife Madeline had a beautiful baby girl! Macy James Mooney was born on thursday august 12, 2010. She's perfect. It's pretty surreal to see my brother as a father. He's so proud and happy and attentive to her. But when I watch him holding his daughter I can't help but wonder, "when did we all grow up?" It seems like just yesterday his He-Man and army figures were tormenting my innocent barbies.

Didn't work

It didn't work.

IUI didn't work.

On good days, I realize that each person/ couple/ family has their own challenges.

And this is just ours right now.

But in my darker moments, I'm just pissed. I lay in bed at night and wonder, why? Why us? We love being parents, we're fairly good at it (or at least we try real hard), we're good people.....

Every time I hear about yet another friend who has suddenly become pregnant, or become pregnant, "without even trying!" I just feel so jealous. There, I admitted it. I do, I feel jealous.

Our insurance covers a measly next to nothing for lifetime fertility benefits. After one IUI, we're almost through the allotted amount.

That's another thing I worry about in the middle of the night. How will we pay for all this?

And then I just get sad/ annoyed/ pissed again.

Usually, I give myself one day to feel this way, drink as much coffee as I want, and then move forward. That's the only thing to do. I want to meet the rest of my babies. I want to watch them grow and play with c.

What also helps me look forward is having a miracle walking around next to me all day.

In this face, I'm easily convinced that life is good, there's lots to be thankful for, and things will work out.

I love this picture of little c. It captures his sweet, curious, live in the moment, life is so good and exciting kind of attitude.

I can learn a lot from him.