6 Months!!!!!!

The boys turned 6 months today!!

I woke up to the loveliest of notes, written to me by my husband. It was about how far we've come, his pride for our family and gratitude for our boys. It was so sweet and actually it didn't surprise me very much that he wrote it, because I was feeling the same way waking up today. I understand completely why reaching this milestone of 6 months feels so poignant. 

From the minute I saw three little beans on the ultrasound monitor and started popping those pre-natal vitamins, I've worried. I suppose some of that just comes with being a parent. I worried about their in-utero development, if they'd have enough room, or even darker worries. My worries were often validated  by doctors who reiterated how risky the pregnancy was, then by doctors who explained what could happen if they were born too early. After they were born I worried every time I had to leave them in the nicu. "Would the nicu nurses hold them as close as I would when they cried?" "Could they try and love them the same when I couldn't be there??" I pleaded this to them with my eyes every time I left.

I worried about how Colin would fair, his world turned completely upside down by three babies. I worried that I couldn't survive without proper sleep, that I'd be grumpy all the time, that our marriage would somehow suffer. 

When they came home I worried about flat heads, delayed milestones, gaining weight, Finn's heart condition, and the big one.... spending enough one on one time with each one of them.

So here's why 6 months feels so extraordinary. 

While we were busy worrying, God was taking care of our boys. They're gaining weight, eating well, sleeping well, and chewing everything in sight, including each other. They smile. They laugh. They coo at the top of their lungs- sometimes at 3 a.m. (I'm talking about you, Finn!). They seem to be enjoying themselves so far.

Despite our worries about Colin, he has totally risen to the occasion. He is truly a wonderful big brother that has so far adjusted beautifully. 

And at 6 months I now can't hardly remember or even imagine life without them. 

The most common thing people say when they see all six of us coming is, "Wow. You have your hands full!" Some people take it further and say inappropriate things or make statements to indicate that in no way would they EVER want to trade places with us. Those people seem to assume that life must just be miserable trying to care for triplets plus one.

During these moments, we now just smile because truthfully WE ARE SO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY. Is it hard? Yes. Is it crazy at times? Oh yeah. But is raising our triplets plus one the most fun we've ever had and the greatest honor? For sure.

I wouldn't trade the journey we've had to get to this point, or our crazy lives with these boys for anything in the world. 

Carter, Everett and Finley, we have such gratitude for each one of you. You keep proving to us, to worry less, have faith and enjoy the ride. 

I asked Colin if he wanted to get in the picture. He said, "No" and then grabbed a toy giraffe and started flying around saying, "Smile babies!" He thought his job was very important- and it was!

12:30 p.m. September 29. From left to right, Carter, Everett and Finley.

I haven't blogged in a number of days.

People I love are going through challenges that seem so unfair and it's had me not feeling like writing about mundane every day life. 

Lately I find myself wondering, "What is all this (life, hardships, suffering) for?" 

When amazing people go through amazingly hard things it just seems so completely unfair. 

Yet it's the fragility of life that makes you realize how important it is to suck the life out of every moment. Appreciate every moment, even the ones that seem so mundane, so ordinary. 

Like today when I found myself on the floor surrounded by my babies, laughing, rolling and as yummy as can be.

Although I may not understand why things happen the way that they do, in my kids faces I'm continuously reminded of all that is wonderful and beautiful in this life. They make me believe in a grander plan.

(okay, so I just re-read this and had to laugh because I'm guessing that for most people, sitting on the floor surrounded by triplets actually isn't so "ho hum, mundane, ordinary life moments"! But for me.... chillin' with my babies, just as pictured above, is how I spend most afternoons while Colin naps.....)

Sometimes all you need is a good laugh....

Whoa! 

Everett and Carter had me up way too late last night.

Finn, per usual, announced that he was up for the day by singing at the top of his lungs. It was 4:45 a.m.

Colin was sick today. All stuffy and snotty and coughing and warm.

Then Everett suddenly transformed into a stuffy nosed, coughing, congested little man.

They were dropping like flies.

Nap time was a disaster. They all desperately needed naps but could not seem to sleep.

All Colin wanted was for me to hold him and rock him while he watched Elmo.

And all I wanted was to clone myself for the afternoon so that I could rock and hold Colin as he asked, and also rock and hold my other little sickie and play with Finn and Carter who's noses seemed to also get runnier as the afternoon wore on.

Bedtime turned into an almost 3 hour process. Nobody seemed to feel good and everybody was crabby from not having good naps.

I told Chris that I was ready to "cry it out". He thought I was talking about the boys.

I was talking about me.

I said that I needed to get off the carnival ride, even if just for a few minutes! So he stayed with the babies and I went to open a bottle of wine.

Just as I'd screwed in the wine opener and tucked in the corner to pull out the cork, the opener somehow broke in half.

REALLY?!

I carried up the wine with the broken corkscrew sticking out of the top and proclaimed to Chris that this might just be the straw that breaks the camels back and sends me to the looney farm.

He could tell I wasn't joking.

So he said, "Stay with the babies while I go get something to fix it".

So I did.

Then he returned and stated, "What you need to fix it is downstairs in the kitchen"

Super!

I entered the kitchen to find an assortment of pliers lined up next to the bottle of wine.

Seriously.

Truthfully they scared me, so I waited for Chris.

When the boys were all finally asleep, I stepped back and watched Chris work his magic.

Let me tell you, watching Chris wrestle this wine bottle open as if the sanity of his wife depended on it, was just what I needed to feel like I'd stepped off the crazy carnival ride of mommyhood for a moment.

I laughed out loud until I couldn't breath and was thankful for a husband who will do whatever it takes to get his wife that glass of wine!

As the old adage goes, laughter really is the best medicine.

Thank you broken wine bottle opener.


***** As you might notice, this blog was recently accepted as part of the BlogHer publishing network which I'm really excited about! However, I'm not entirely pleased with the layout of their advertising (i.e. the one plastered across the top). Please excuse the mess, when the kids noses stop running, I hope to work out a few of these kinks!

A wear your pj's all day sort of day....

Our helper Amelie was out sick today and so I had all four boys by myself.

Colin is getting over a cold, the babies are teething and I was exhausted from a very poor nights sleep.

That means:

It was a podee day.

And a "let's put sesame street on at 11:00 a.m." day (usually I can hold out until about 4:00 before needing a cartoon distraction for the boys)

It was a curl up and watch t.v. with your pacifier and giraffes sort of day (our general rule is that the paci and giraffes don't leave Colin's bed)

A nap anywhere and anytime you want kind of day.

A"let's stay in our pjs all day" sort of day. 

A "did I really just go through a whole pot of coffee?!" day.

But we made it. 

Chris is home, all is quiet. The babies are fed, changed, clothed and asleep.

Colin is curled up asleep in bed still wearing his santa clause p.js from morning. Yes, I realize it's september but he loves his santa pjs. from last year. Since he's obviously grown since last x-mas, they now fit such that the pants barely reach his ankles and the arms reach about mid forearm. But they're his fav.

Tomorrow our goal will be to get dressed.

 Shoot for the stars.

5 Months- What's working? Part 2

So there is one other change we recently made, that much to our surprise, is making perhaps the biggest difference in our sanity (in a positive way!).

Before I get to that, I must give a little history as to what lead up to this little but big change. I'll admit that for years Chris and I fell into a routine of eating dinner in front of t.v. I enjoy cooking and I'd often cook a homemade meal, but we'd never really sit at the table to enjoy it. We'd fix a plate, set up our t.v. trays, and watch a dvr'd program. Side by side and exchanging words but not really talking. At the same time, we used to love to go out to dinner and talk for hours. We just never sat at the table at home.

Fast forward to now and we have one very picky eater in our first born! Some days he eats okay and other days, getting him to eat anything feels like pulling teeth! Forget about trying anything new. When I present something, he'll often say, "Too hot mommy". Nice try. Kiwi fruit is not hot.

So now that the babies are going to bed at 6:30, we thought that maybe eating together at the dining room table would help Colin eat more. He'd see us eating and more importantly he wouldn't be distracted by toys or t.v. or anything else. The focus would be on food.

This was a change to help him.

But what we've realized is how much we needed it too. Our dinners together have become the calm at the end of an always hectic day, a time to re-connect, talk, and give thanks for our blessings. Colin has even started asking, "Time to eat?"

Our goal was to eat together as a family (sans the babies) every week night the first week. But it was so easy, so enjoyable, that it's become part of the routine, and one that we've continued almost every night since first trying it.

One clear obstacle to this new plan, was that I still don't have time to cook! If you could see how I cook, that would be even clearer. I've never been a "clean as I go" sort of cook. Instead, the kitchen is an absolute mess after each meal. I've tried to clean as I go, but it never pans out. Ain't my style.

Plus the whole four kids under 2 1/2 thing makes it hard to cook.

So for the past three weeks, I've started cooking once a week and freezing many of the meals. Little did I know there's a whole sub-culture of folks who swear by once a week and once a month cooking. I can see really getting into this!

I'll share some of the meals that I'm finding easiest to freeze in future posts. Part of my challenge is finding freezable vegetarian options. We eat fish but no meat. Well, actually Chris eats meat but since I cook our dinners, he's adjusted to a life of mostly tofu and veggies :)

Perhaps this means I'm really getting old. As a kid I remember every night, eating meals together around the kitchen table and sometimes thinking about how much cooler it would be if we could just eat in front of the t.v. I love my family but I also loved Diff' rent Strokes.

I guess I've come full circle because now I think it's way cooler to turn off the t.v. and sit with your family around the table.

And perhaps I can look forward to my own boys groaning about the same thing because I think family meals are here to stay.

Yesterday while eating a late breakfast, Colin insisted on candlelight. Why not?

5 months! What's working?? Part I

At five months, it's all about the schedule right now.....

The boys turned five months on Aug. 29, just as summer was drawing to an end and fall was beginning. For some reason, this change in seasons, coupled with boys being just that much older, has caused us to make some larger shifts in our routine. Whatever the catalyst, during the week that the boys turned five months old I woke up one morning and realized how much I wanted to cook again for my family, exercise, read books, get our butts to church again..... things that might help us to feel more centered and perhaps live a little more fully.

The first weekend in September happened to be very chaotic. We'd just gotten back from being away for a few weeks, so there was no food in the house yet spoiled food in the fridge, the babies were all off schedule (although they weren't on much of a schedule to begin with), and Colin wanted some attention that I couldn't give him due to baby- house chaos. By mid afternoon on Saturday, I stood in the center of my messy kitchen surrounded by overtired babies and bags of groceries, threw my hands up in the air and said with certainty, "That's IT, we're getting on a schedule!"

And so we did. We ALL did.

I've never been very good at keeping on a schedule. Back when I had one baby, I never kept a schedule except whatever organically unfolded based on his needs, not mine. At some point naps just sort of fell into a predictable routine, but I was never a slave to a schedule. I never called whatever was happening "a schedule". But I vowed to give this new "routine" one week to be able to effectively evaluate it was working. "Working" would mean that ALL of us felt calmer, happier, more rested, more centered.

I must say that at the end of week two of trying the new schedule, things are going beautifully (knock on wood!). The babies and Colin (and Chris and I!) have responded well to the predictability that a schedule brings. For example, I can count on getting sweet, quality time with the babies first thing in the morning. Colin also knows that when he wakes up in the morning, he gets one on one "special time" with mommy or Amelie and I can better plan play dates and errands if need be. At the end of the day, I can count on sitting down with Chris and Colin to eat a meal together. That all feels good.

So here is the new schedule:

6:30- babies wake up. The first day of our new routine, I actually woke the babies! Something I would NEVER do with one baby but....

6:30-8:30- The babies eat right away and then we play. Although I'm not a morning person, I must say that this has become one of my favorite times of the day. It's quiet, I've got my coffee, and the babies are in the best moods. They are just so happy to be up and starting the day!

8:30- I put the babies in their sleeper sacks (which is a cue for them to go to bed!), carry them up to their cribs, give them a pacifier and lovie and they nap for an hour.

8:30-9:30- I wake Colin at 8:30 and then he gets an hour without any babies around. He has his breakfast. We play. We welcome Amelie, our helper, when she arrives. Often I'll then have Amelie and Colin play together and I'll get a moment to shower or check e-mail before ALL the kids are up.

9:30-11- Everybody's up! The babies will have a bottle during this time and then go down for their second nap around 11:00. We use the same routine of putting them in a sleep sack, giving them their pacifier and lovies. I'm finding that this consistency is really helping them be able to know it's time for bed and soothe themselves to sleep.

11-12- Colin time again while the babies sleep.

Colin goes down for his nap around 1:30. The babies go down for their 3rd nap at around 2:00. Then I have an hour, if I'm lucky, of peace and quiet.

6:30- Bedtime for the babies

6:45- Dinner for Colin, Chris and I (more on this in my next post)

8:30- Colin starts to go to bed. Sometimes he doesn't go to bed until 9:00, but he sleeps late in the morning. This bedtime may seem late for a two year old but we have found that staggering the kids so that Colin gets time with both Chris and I in the evening and when he gets up in the morning, and the babies get time alone with me first thing in the morning, works quite well for everyone right now.

The babies tend to eat about 7 oz. around 6:30 a.m, 10:30 a.m., 2:00 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. Sometimes they'll sleep from 6:30 p.m. until about 2:00 a.m. and then get up for a bottle, but other times they'll wake up around 8:30 p.m., eat, go right back to sleep and sleep until 5:00 a.m. We feed them again and they go back until around 6-6:30 (personally that's what I prefer). Whenever they get up during the night, I only feed them 4 oz. because, 1. it's faster, 2. maybe they'll get used to having less and eventually go ALL night without eating (please please please!), 3. 4 oz. is usually enough to satiate them and get them back to sleep. Of course the key word to ALL of this is usually. ;)

So that's our current "schedule". I'm writing it out in case anyone else with triplets might find it helpful! My guess is that over the next month or so, we'll drop the last nap and shift the first two naps a bit.

People ask me all the time if it's getting easier now that the babies are getting older. Yes and no. It's easier in the sense that they sleep longer, their feedings are more spaced and they finally love to lay on their tummy's and play with toys. They also love watching Colin play which can hold their attention for a good chunk of time. On the other hand, they are also more demanding of my playful attention. They want to play, and they want to play with me (especially if I'm the only caregiver around). Wonderful? Yes! Challenging with so many? YES!

With each passing month, I get more and more back from them- the smiles, the coos, the pleading eyes to pick me up! or play with me!  With each passing month the relationship with each child grows, the attachment deepens and my heart swells even more. As this happens, fostering each of these unique, beautiful little relationships can feel overwhelming in a way that brings different challenges than at first. Now, if I can't reach one of them because I'm tied up with somebody else I can actually see the disappointment in their little faces where as before as babies, it was less evident. 


If only I had eight arms. 

Dear Colin,

You are my greatest teacher to date.

I know this and yet still..... I forget sometimes

Until nights like these and you remind me

of all that this world is about

Learning, growing, changing

Working towards being the best we can be

I am better for knowing you

I am better for your guidance

I am thankful for you

We rocked a long time together tonight

I listened to your words
so simple and pure and honest

Thankful that you make me better

I tucked you in bed, almost asleep

Kissed you on your forehead and said,

"I'll remember this conversation"

You won't.

I will.

And I will always be thankful.

Teething season...

may be upon us.

Bright and early, from top to bottom, Carter, Everett, Finn. 

The boys were really having trouble sleeping last night. Nothing seemed to help, not even extra milk in their bottles. 

I felt like the whole night was spent getting in and out of bed to put pacifiers in mouths, reposition lovie blankets and rub backs. 

They woke up for the day just before 5 a.m. 

WHAT?!

Did I mention that before kids, Chris and I could sleep until noon EASILY?

All I have to say is THANK GOD for my helper Amelie. She is truly a God send. 

Anyone out there who has an amazing helper, nanny, babysitter, or childcare provider, understands the true gift that it is to have someone around who you can meet at the door in your pj's with the house a complete and utter mess, who will step up in those moments when you can't muster the energy, and who truly loves your kiddos. We are so blessed in that respect.

Before the boys went down for their afternoon nap, I investigated their gums and sure enough they all have little white buds where I'm certain teeth are starting to push through. 

Poor little guys. 

No one has yet to comment here, but if someone was so inclined, I'd love to hear any tips on how you manage teething...

We'd love to get some sleep ;)

..............

addendum: The babies slept from 6:30- 4::30 last night!!!! Until then, they were quiet as church mice. We feed them at 4:30 and they went back until 6:00. I'll take it!!!! But I'm still certain they are teething and would still love any tips on managing that. To comment, you actually have to click on the post..... not sure why, but you do. ;)

9/11

We got up today and went to church. It seemed the only thing to do on this day.

With this 10th anniversary of 9/11 I've found myself glued to the t.v, watching updates on survivors, those that lost family members, and programs recounting what happened on that horrible day. It still seems unfathomable and evokes the same gut wrenching emotion in me as when it happened.

I especially find myself thinking about the children, those that lost parents and parents that lost children.

And I think of my own children.

 I find myself wondering about the very moment my children learn of 9/11.

How old will they be?

Where will they be?

I can only hope that I'm standing next to them in that moment so I can be the one to somehow answer their questions.

But what will I even say???

One day my kids may ask me where I was when the planes hit. 

The truth is that I had no idea of what had occurred until 9/12. During the actual moments when the planes hit, I was just winding down my day in a remote village in Madagascar, running along a red dirt path, through a valley of bright green rice fields.

It was so peaceful.

So breathtakingly beautiful.

And all the while, half way around the world, horrific devastation was occurring. One act was changing the course of history forever.

In this corner of the world, the news of 9/11 didn't arrive until the next day.

I taxi brussed to the nearby town, and gathered with other peace corp volunteers around the only t.v. in town, for days. 

I still have the same feelings today as I did sitting around that small t.v, 10 years ago.

I still can't wrap my brain around it all- the sadness, the evil, the devastation, the courage, the senselessness.

When you ask yourself the question....

When is the last time the triplets had a bath???

It probably means it's time for a bath!

So that's what we did this afternoon.

Carter, Finn, Everett

The boys are finally old enough to use these little bath chairs. I'm still on the fence about how I feel about them. I think the boys just still need to grow into them a little more. In the meantime I fold up some blankets behind them to support their posture.

I remember how Colin used to get a bath pretty much every other day at least. First time mom + only one kid= frequent baths. I won't even dare admit how many days go by between baths with the triplets. They seem fine though!

In truth, the boys get more showers than baths. I just find it easier to have Chris hand the boys to me one at a time while I'm in the shower. A quick soap and rinse and we're done. And yes, I am VERY careful about the fact that the baby can get slippery in the shower. I hold them with a death grip.

When they do take baths, it's assembly line style. I line 'em up in their bath chairs, fill the tub up just past their toes, soap 'em all, then rinse with cups of water. I also run the sink water on a super hot temp so that the room starts to steam up and get all warm for them.


Finn to Carter: "I thought she'd NEVER remember to bathe us!"


Carter to Finn: "Oh I know! How silly is THAT?"
Everett: "I hope she trims our nails next...."

There's just something about a baby all bathed and clean. LOVE IT! Today I took time to hold each of them close and deeply inhale their clean baby smell.

Oh how I wish I could bottle that smell and keep it forever.

Afternoon Pedicure- Boy Mom Style

Last night I was feeding Finn in the rocking chair and Colin was playing with his cars nearby. He had one of those "little people" who happened to be carrying a paint brush and driving one of his big trucks. 

I was doing the whole, "Let's see if I can somehow be a part of Colin's play while across the room doing something else" routine. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When it works, it keeps Colin happy and engaged enough so as not to get into some sort of two year old mischief...

So I say to the little man with the paint brush, driving the truck, "Hey man, why don't you come over here and paint my toes? They need more paint."

So Colin drives the truck over to my feet. The little man hops out, climbs up on his ladder to reach my toes and apparently decides my feet need more than just a little paint. 

So Colin takes over.

He starts with the drill and drills each toe.

Then moves onto the wrench.

After using the drill, the hand saw, the hammer and the wrench, he seems to decide that my toes are going to require more than just these run of the mill tools.

So he leaves and returns with his entire tool box.

It's obvious he's looking for something specific.

Found it.

Of course.

No pedicure is complete without use of the SABER SAW.

You may remember the saber saw from this post where I referred to it as a chain saw. Incorrect. It's called a saber saw.... I'm slowly learning these important things. (and yes, I now realize it's even labeled on the actual saw!)

I'm sure there are moms out there getting pretend pedicures right now, with glittery stickers, little brushes, and perhaps sweet smelling lotion slathered on their feet.

Not me. Here I sit enjoying my full blown boy mom pedicure courtesy of every tool in his toolbox. Lest anyone think I'm sexist... I fully realize I could have a daughter giving me a pedicure with these same tools or have a son using glittery stickers and sweet smelling lotion- that would be fine!

But today it was all about a tool box pedicure.

Right now I couldn't wish for anything else. 

Fall...

has arrived in Chicago (at least for today!).

It was cool, crisp and going outside required a sweatshirt. 

I thought I'd be all sad to see summer end but the coolness of today made me excited for fall.

I'm watching Chris and Colin climbing the tree in the front yard while cooking chicken, salad and potatoes for dinner (real chicken for Chris, fake chicken for me).

The triplets are sound asleep.

In the center of our dinner table sits two tall fancy candle holders with ivory candles all lit up. Like the ones you'd see at a fancy restaurant (not that we go to any anymore!). We rarely use them but tonight I thought, why not??

For some reason, this transition into fall also feels like a time to make new resolutions. Maybe it's because this past year has been so crazy, now that things are starting to settle (somewhat), I'm feeling driven to set some goals.

Like cooking dinner for my family again.

Eating together, the original three, after the babies settle in bed.

Exercising.

Today, exercise did not happen- unless running up and down the stairs about 30 times to put babies to bed, do laundry, fetch babies, and constantly run to grab items forgotten on other floors, counts. 

But tonight, we'll eat together as a family, with tall fancy candles to boot. 

I love how Colin is giving a thumbs up in this picture. He cracks me up.

Dear Trips,

Okay, technically this one was taken aug 30th :). Left to right, Finn, Everett and Carter.

You turned 5 months last Monday, August 29th!

It was a very special day because it was also your Gramma Mooney's birthday and we were in Michigan to celebrate with her. 

Here you are at 5 months:

Aug 29th. From left to right, Everett, Carter and Finn

Finn, we joke about how you are so "Filled with joy" these days! (except when you are completely melting down... again, no in between with you!). You are still the first to wake up in the morning. You never cry, you just make a ton of noise- singing, yelling, cooing at the top of your lungs. There's no choice but to get up and go to you. You'll have nothing less.

Everett, you LOVE to talk with anyone who will listen. On and on and on you'll coo and talk and smile. Such a little flirt you are. When on your belly, you're starting to pull your knees under you and rock.  I can see crawling on the horizon.

Carter, your smile can light up a room. You are so happy and even keeled. I think that you're going to be the first one to get a tooth as you've been drooling non-stop and starting to fuss in that teething sort of way. You hate tummy time but still try hard for mommy!

You're all starting to really notice each other now. I love this picture of Finn staring at Everett because you can tell that the wheels in Finn's head are turning. 

"Who is this guy and what's he doing on my blanket??"

By the way, you have an AMAZING big brother. You should know that. Often without any prompting he'll scoot real close to one of you and say, "Hi Baby!" and then go into the "Googoogaga" talk that he hears from everyone else while playfully smiling and shaking his head. It cracks me up and warms my heart.

I'm also certain that this cutesy play will turn into full out WWF wrestling in a few short years.

.....................

I think my mom had a lovely birthday. We went to breakfast, got pedicures, went swimming, and grilled out. She said that she loved just being surrounded by the boys.

On the night of her birthday, she offered to sleep with the babies to allow me to get a full nights sleep.

I got an uninterrupted, solid, eight hours of sleep!

I felt like a new woman. 

And that act of kindness pretty much says all you need to know about the kind of person my mom is.