Night out

Thanks to our wonderful regular helper Amelie and my sister in law Katie, Chris and I got to attend a dear friend's wedding in the city on Saturday night. 

I wore my new dress.

However, before the wedding, per usual I mismanaged my time and before I new it, I was running late. Chris went to the wedding ahead of me.

I couldn't find my make-up bag anywhere and found myself scouring the linen closet for old make-up laying around and then applying it with my fingers. 

No joke.

Also, my phone died in the cab, just after I took this picture:

I was taking it to show my friend that I was wearing the lovely ring she got me (from banana republic).

The wedding was beautiful, but after two glasses of wine I was sleepy and missing my babies (and by babies I mean all four of them.

So we went home.

When it's 100 degrees out, there's only one reasonable thing to do:

Dear little c,

Your dad and I had the best time "watering the flowers" with you tonight. Somehow you figured out how to kink the hose so that when you let it go it sprays everywhere (I'm still not sure who to thank for teaching you that little trick!).

Thanks for reminding us to stay silly.

The quiet of the night

Quiet: Absence of noise or bustle; silence; calm; tranquility; state of unmoving; still

It's the very end of the day and quiet for the first time since 6:00 a.m.

I've never appreciated quiet as much as I do now. When it happens, I take notice in a way that I never have before and I drink it in, because it doesn't last long!

I'm sitting in my bed pumping (blah!)

The only light in the room comes from Chris's closet which is cracked just enough for me to watch my three babies sleeping quietly (knock on wood) in their cribs. Finn and Carter are sharing the big crib and Everett is in a pack n' play lined up as close to the crib as possible.

I hear them breath so deeply and watch their little bellies go up and down.

They look so peaceful.

..........

It was just last night that we tried once again to bring the babies upstairs to sleep with us. This meant that my husband also got to come back to bed! Yay! They'd been sleeping down in the basement since they came home from the hospital (except for this night). Then, a series of random events on Sunday led us to believe that it was as good a time as any to give it another go. So upstairs they came.

Knock on wood, they slept from 11- 5:30! Not bad!

And so just like that, I guess we've entered another phase. The phase of the babies sleeping in the basement, in their little bassinets, with Chris on the couch next to them, has ended and a new phase has begun.

 Our plan to have Chris sleep with them in the basement may not work for everyone but it worked for us and helped us keep our sanity. In truth, it wasn't what we originally planned on doing. We'd planned to have the babies sleep with us, in our room and we'd both get up for feedings. If nothing else, parenting multiples has taught us to be willing to throw away plans and adapt on the fly! We quickly realized that making the basement "baby central" and having them sleep down there would be what allowed us to function as parents, at our highest level. A solid block of sleep each night helped ensure that I'd be best equipped to handle the hectic and exhausting days with our boys and thankfully I have a husband that can sleep anywhere, anytime. He just doesn't seem to stress about getting sleep as much as I do. For us, this sleeping arrangement helped us get through the first 3 months. 

That said, I'm so happy to have Chris back upstairs in our bed where he belongs! 

On that first night, Colin ended up crawling into our bed half way through the night. At one point I awoke and in a sleepy daze, surveyed my surroundings.

It was perfectly quiet with only the light from a streetlamp streaming in through the half shut curtains. My husband lay next to me, our beautiful Colin was snuggled up in between us and our three babies were curled up in cribs by our bed. 

What a wonderful sight. 

What a wonderful feeling to be all together.

Family

"Dad, are they really staying?"

One foot in front of the other....

Some days are hard

Some days it's so blatantly obvious that there's not enough of me to go around

Like today

I had the four kids alone all day and it seemed that someone was always crying. On two different occasions they were all crying. I felt so helpless and inadequate.

We attempted to get out of the house for a play date. While we were there I had tons of help from other amazing moms and enjoyed having adult conversation. But it took us over an hour to get ready to go and at least two of the babies and/ or Colin cried all the way there and all the way home. I had wonder if it was worth all the effort and tears. 

On days like this I can feel the guilt start to creep in... and that annoying voice whispering, "They're not getting enough of you.... You can't successfully give all these babies the individual attention they need....". I have to silence that annoying voice as quickly as possible or else it will cause me loose focus on the bigger picture and what I can do. 

Which is that no matter how crazy or overwhelming the day gets, I can still put one foot in front of the other and try my very, very best, again and again, to give them what they need and deserve.

That's what we do as moms.

********

Holy perfect timing. 

The babies had finally stopped crying and fallen asleep while I was writing my thoughts above.

But then I had to stop writing to answer the door. It was the postman and he asked me to sign for a package.

Inside?!?

A beautiful new dress from my husband, to wear this saturday night, at a wedding we're going to.

Well knock me down with a feather!

I took off my spit up laden clothes right there in the kitchen and tried on my new dress.

Most days I'm in cut off jeans, a t-shirt covered in spit up, wearing my hair unbrushed and haphazardly pulled back in a pony tail. I haven't touched my make-up bag in forever... 

 he still thinks I'm beautiful.

Listen, I was either going to cry from pure exhaustion or have a moment of complete and utter silliness in my new dress. On this day I chose silliness.

If you're going on a date with your husband...

and your two year old is coming with because you fear leaving all four kids, with one person, will make them run for the hills and never babysit again...

then THIS is your best case senario:

A front loader, working right next to where we were dining, may not have been romantic before kids, but now.... feel free to drive the big trucks right up to our table please! 

Colin was enthralled, memorized and happy to watch the workers do their thing which allowed Chris and I to catch up and relax a bit. One of the truck drivers even beeped and waved as he left which made c's day!

Oh how date night changes with kids....

Wednesday

With a 2 year old and three babies it can feel easier to just stay inside than venture out as a family. But sometimes we try. 

Tonight we packed everybody up and walked one short block to sit under a tree at the park. 

It was delightful.

Chris and I always laugh about just what it takes to get out of the house and everything we have to bring.

Sometimes we pack so much that just before I attempt to push the stroller I'm holding my breath that it won't be too weighted down and that the bottom doesn't drag along the road. Pushing the stroller, four kids and all our crap.... I should be in way better shape than I am!

 Even though we seem to pack everything known to man, I'm ALWAYS forgetting something. Last week, after hauling everybody to the playground I realized that I'd packed up almost everything in the house EXCEPT a single diaper (and realized this after someone was already screaming for a diaper change). That was awesome.

Chris keeps saying we should just get a shopping cart for when we go out. That way we could pack EVERYTHING we may need including a swing, bouncy chairs, diaper pail perhaps....

Just throw it all in.

I fear this will be us when we need to go somewhere further than the park:

We're not that bad yet, but we may be heading in that direction

Here we are tonight on our way to the park

Chris, Colin, Finley, Everett, Carter, Olive (because she needs to get out too!) and Me.

It looks like even Colin has to help push but I assure you he wants to be pushing :)

Three babies!

  Again, linking arms 

Always

The babies laid on a blanket under a big Oak tree and I goggled at them for a long while. They were being so chatty, cute and full of smiles that I kept trying to get a video of them. Every time I'd start filming though, they'd suddenly become dead serious.

Oh well.

So I chatted with my babies and watched Colin and Chris run around and laugh.

Then, we went home.

I went on a run today

Okay, so it was more of a very slow jog, or some might even call it a fast walk.

The point is that I did it and it felt great! 

Actually, it felt like I hadn't run in almost a year. It felt like I'd just gotten done housing three humans in my belly and had no core muscles left..... hence the extremely slow turtles pace.

I used to love to run and even ran a marathon many moons ago. I love that feeling when you finish a long run and you've pushed yourself and your muscles are burning and your lungs are invigorated with air. I crave to feel that again. 

When I was super pregnant with the boys and my body felt like it was breaking was breaking I wasn't sure I'd ever do any sort of physical activity again. Sounds dramatic, but when you are so huge that you need help to get out of bed and you can't do any stairs, it's hard to envision running again or even chasing your two year old around the playground.

But here I am doing it. And I actually feel pretty great.

The human body is freaking amazing to me. I was amazed the first time I was pregnant. That this body could build a human, birth it and then go back to pretty much normal. Amazing! Now I have even more gratitude for this body. I really couldn't care less about the extra little belly left over from stretching to accommodate three lives. As women we are so often too hard on ourselves. I for one, hope I never again criticize my body for anything. Look what it did for me. It carried my beautiful boys and delivered them healthy to me.

So with Colin in the jogging stroller, pinwheel in his hand and a whole lot of gratitude in my heart we took off for our first post babies run... or trot... or jog... or fast walk... whatever it was it felt good.

July 4th

We had the most fantastic July 4th this year. My parents were in town as well as my brother and we spent the afternoon and evening on our deck, grilling, eating watermelon and ice cream cones and listening to the fireworks going off all around us. There was no formal fireworks show in our neighborhood, but every year we are surrounded by some pretty fantastic ones from about 7-11 p.m. Part of the uniqueness of city living I guess!

With ice cream cone or watermelon in hand, dripping everywhere, Colin spent the evening excitedly watching the fireworks and we spent the evening joyfully watching him. 

I love summer nights like these in the city. So simple yet so perfect.

"Momma, can I brush your hair?"

Colin asked if he could brush my hair the other day.

I was thrilled! 

This was the sort of experience thought I'd miss out one since I'm a boy mom.

 "Sure!" I said.

 Maybe being a boy mom really isn't that different from having daughters....

He left, I assumed to get a brush.

Then I saw him dig through this tool box until he found what he needed. Back he ran with:

His CHAINSAW

There I sat, Colin brushing my hair with his chainsaw and me making a mental note.

"File this under: Life with all boys"

Three Months!

My babies turned three months old on June 29th! This felt like an accomplishment. They are gaining weight, smiling, cooing, and just the other day started laughing. Oh the joy to hear chubby babies laughing! It makes me smile just thinking about it.

I'm not usually one to brag but I have to admit that I'm proud of Chris and I. Sure there have been the middle of the night crabby squabbles, almost always stemming simply from pure exhaustion or after being spit up on, pooped on, peed on or needed one too many times that day. But those spats have been few. Mostly, we have stayed a tight, loving, laughing unit even in the mist of chaos. I'm proud of that.

I so badly wanted a picture of the boys at three months but the day almost got away from me. Finally at 11 p.m. when things finally started to settle down, I propped them next to each other in the bean bag and got my picture. Per usual, Everett was still up, smiling away! The other two were down for the count.

Finley, Carter and Everett,


You are each such an incredible blessing. I love you to bits.