Happy Easter!

At first Colin didn't want to be in this picture which was fine. Then he changed his mind and not only wanted to be in the picture but wanted Carter's seat. Colin went right up to Carter's face and demanded, "Move!". I was just happy that he used his words and didn't try and move Carter himself so we honored his request and rearranged.

Thanks to my mom, Colin had eggs filled with jelly beans to search for, each boy had a beautiful Easter basket filled with goodies, and we all had a yummy Easter brunch.

Chris, Colin, one of the babies and I even made it to church. Chris pushed Colin in the stroller and I carried the baby in a Moby wrap. We kept commenting how strange it already felt to have only two kids with us. However, taking all the trips would have been CRAZY. Plus, it's nice to have some one on one time with each baby. How did I decide who to take? Whoever I hadn't held as much that particular morning. 

I felt great that we managed to get everybody dressed, made it to church- ON TIME, and even got some family pictures. Right after this picture, I took a quick bathroom break, while mentally patting myself on the back for all our small achievements that morning.

 And then without thinking, I proceeded to drop my i phone in the toilet and flush it. Flushed my i phone down the toilet!! Awesome. All my pride for being so organized that morning was completely deflated.

It was the third phone I've either lost or managed to destroy and yet another moment as a mom when I thought, "This probably doesn't happen to Angelina Jolie"

Pizza and Babies!

It's Friday night. 

Earlier, my mom was upstairs making pizza and I was in the basement with the babies getting very sleepy...

I was going to label a bottle of milk with the date and went to confirm with my mom on what day/ date it actually was. "Is it the 15th?"

My mom clued me in on the fact that it's actually the April 22nd. Wow.... (as a side note, someone else asked me today how long it's been since I delivered and I COULDN'T REMEMBER!) How bad is that?! My mom helped me with that one too. It's been three and a half weeks :) Thank goodness my mom is here to think for me!

Clearly I needed some rest, so I decided to lay down and take a rest with Finn since he was kind of restless. Then Carter started to stir so he joined me too.

Everett was in his bassinet close by, but soon enough he started fussing too. I called my mom away from her pizza making and she lifted Everett onto my stomach.

There we lay peacefully for a few minutes before my energetic two year old came in like a hurricane and announced that he wanted to eat his dinner on the couch right next to mommy and the babies. So he did. His food went everywhere and drops of juice slowly seeped out on the couch by my head. We didn't care. 

Our lives are a never ending cycle of feedings, changings, laundry, bottles, cuddling, rocking, and caring for Colin. It's exhausting, energizing and enormously fulfilling. 

We couldn't want for anything else right now. 

One week home!

We've made it through the first week at home! In truth it has been easier than I imagined (knocking on every piece of wood in this room...). The first night home Chris and I stayed up together through the night to feed the babies (they eat every three hours right now), sleeping for short bursts in between feedings. By morning we were exhausted and immediately decided that we could handle feedings on our own and divided the day/ night into shifts. As a result, we're each getting at least 6 hours of straight sleep per day/ night. We've also had amazing help from my parents and many meals dropped off by friends, which has helped more than words can express. 

The hardest part, if there is one right now, has been accepting my own limitations for what I can/ can't give these babies. I wish that I could nurse them all on demand, but I'd loose my mind. I wish that I could immediately pick each of them up as soon as they cry but if I'm at the changing table with one, or feeding someone a bottle, the others need to wait a minute. It's a constant juggling act. 

This is a totally different experience than mothering one newborn baby. Not better or worse, just different. With my first born I never had to think about how much I'd held him over the course of a day. However with these boys, I sometimes wonder, "Did I hold each of them enough today?" Like all babies they have their individual differences and unique needs. One's a champion nurser and would love to nurse all day if he could. Another loves to be held and is happiest in my arms. Still another is so content that if I don't watch myself, I could forget that he needs to have time to eat first and be held too! When I notice myself getting overwhelmed by these factors, I try and remind myself to just savor this experience for what it is and stop worrying about what it isn't. Most importantly I try to stay in the moment with each of them, with whatever we're doing, and enjoy the ride. 

 

12:50 a.m, watching my babies sleep.

Mommy, Daddy, Colin Special Time!

Before the triplets were born Chris and I vowed to make time to hang out just the three of us so that Colin continues to know how special he is to us. So today while my parents watched the babies, we headed off to the Chicago Children's Museum at Navy Pier. I'd been before but Chris hadn't. I'm not sure who had more fun, Colin or Chris. Especially in the construction room!

We had such a good time together! In fact, it was all fun and games until we entered the water room. The museum provides cute little rain coats to use while playing. Still, somehow he managed to get completely soaked. Chris and I were oblivious of this fact until we left the room and noticed that his shirt, pants, socks and shoes were completely waterlogged. 

It was almost nap time anyway and clearly it was time to head home. There was really no other option but to take the wet pants, shirt, undershirt, socks and shoes off. We decided to put just his coat on and then drape Chris's coat over his legs because of course I didn't bring any change of clothes. He would have none of the coat being draped over his legs. Just preferred to head out sans pants. 

Alrighty then....

Off we went, through a surprisingly crowded Navy Pier, pushing a kid wearing only a winter coat and no pants. And there was snow on the ground outside. I tried to tell myself, "maybe people won't even notice", but they did! People were looking and one little girl even turned to her mother and said, "Mommy why is that boy a nudie?" Whatever that even means. 

We had a good laugh about it though and all that matters is Colin enjoyed himself. He was fast asleep before we even got out of the parking garage! 

Nap time!

Today the boys fell asleep together for the first time. Usually they sleep in their own little bassinets. As soon as they were laying next to each other, they almost immediately linked arms, snuggled in tight, and fell sound asleep. It was as if they missed each other and enjoyed being close again. 

(Actually, I just laid them down together next to me now, so that I could write this and they're linking arms again!) 

This multiples stuff is fascinating. 

From now on, we'll be sure to give them plenty of snuggle time together!

So this afternoon, instead of placing them back in their individual bassinets, I placed them all in a crib we have set up in our bedroom so that they could continue resting together and I could try and get Colin down for his nap. 

Well, guess where Colin wanted to sleep??

Obviously I'm not to going to leave him alone to nap with his newborn brothers, but I loved that he wanted to hang with them. So I let him climb in, grabbed the camera, and started snapping away.

As I was taking pictures, Colin turned to look at Everett, who was also looking at him. Colin kept touching his little fingers and looking and looking.....

And then, I heard it.

"Luv oo"

Never mind the tantrum that occurred when I told Colin it was time to get out of the crib for his nap, that sweet moment between brothers will stand out in my mind forever. 

***Special thanks to Amy Sayre, www.amysayre.com, who came to take pictures of our boys this morning! I can't wait to see and post pictures from our session together in a future post!

Welcome home boys!

On Tuesday, April 12th, exactly two weeks after being born, all three of our boys got the okay to come home! Needless to say it was one of the very best days of our lives. In the morning we woke up knowing that three of our boys were still waking up in a different location, hooked up to monitors, and that very night we went to bed with all of our sons sleeping under the same roof. There was such a sense of peace and joy just knowing that we were all finally together. 

One of the things that will stand out most in my mind was what it felt like to finally lift them up and hold them without any monitors or IVs attached.

c' ya nicu!

Colin crawled right in the car to see the babies. I love his expressions in these photos because he looks excited.

 You can see all of Colin's tools in the bottom right corner. He immediately dumped out his tool box and started showing all his tools to the babies. He even got out the tape measure to measure them. 

Colin was also very eager to "help help" as he says. He pulled over one of his little chairs all on his own, climbed up and said, "help help!" It melted my heart to see him so curious and actually happy about these little guys. He did a great job of handing me a diaper and other essentials.

 Family Pic! 

If we look happy in this picture, it's because we are! 

Our family feels so complete.

 I had to include this picture because I was cracking up that Colin kept wanting to shine his work light on the babies.... as if to inspect these new creatures suddenly moving in on his turf. We had to keep telling him that the babies don't like the light shining directly in their eyes. 

I know they'll be fast friends. 

Preparing for the invasion!

Yesterday we got word that all three of these sweet boys are scheduled to come home on Tuesday- as in TOMORROW!

I can't even tell you how thrilled I am. I need my babies home!

We're also a bit anxious, nervous.... scared! When at the hospital these days, Chris and I do most of the care for the babies. The nurses have slowly left it up to us. Which is what we want.... but at the end of the day, Chris and I come home just exhausted.

The routine while at the hospital is to check the babies vitals (which we won't have to do at home) and change their diaper (and sometimes also their undershirt and bedding!). Then I nurse the first baby for about 10-15 minutes. They can't sustain a full feeding yet, given that they're still so little, so after the baby seems tuckered out, I pass the him off to Chris to bottle feed. Then on to the next baby and the next, same routine. When all babies are fed, I get to pump! Like I've said, I LOVE nursing.... but I HATE HATE HATE pumping. I think it's so boring and feel like a cow being milked. Sometimes when I'm up in the middle of the night pumping I think "This is ridiculous, maybe we should just formula feed these guys". But then when I'm nursing each of them, I remember why I'm trying to do this. I realize it will be a balance and their may come a time that I have to supplement/ stop nursing for the sake of my mommy sanity but for now I'm giving it a go.

In any case, the whole process, from when we start until the babies are all swaddled back in their beds and pumping is done, takes us at least an hour and a half, almost two hours sometimes. They eat every three hours which means, we get about a one hour break. Granted we are novices and still learning the ropes! I'm hopeful we can get that time down as we get even more comfortable and efficient. At some point when the boys get to be stronger nursers, maybe I can tandem nurse. In the meantime, I'm very curious to see how this will all fall into place once we have them 24/ 7.

Will we ever sleep again?! That's the part that scares me so. 

So yesterday, after learning the boys will be shortly coming home, we ran around the house in a excited/ anxious frenzy setting up swings, washing covers to bouncy seats, moving furniture to accommodate all this stuff, getting the bottles out of their packages to be washed, making sure each changing table on each floor is stocked and ready, making a list for a last minute run to babies r us.... and on and on.

We keep joking that we feel like we're preparing for an invasion!

(Colin, making sure that all the swings are fixed and ready to go!)

Ahhhh! So exciting and daunting..... I can hardly wait until all my boys, Carter, Everett, Finn and Colin are under one roof!

Also, some pictures with my parents. Looking pretty content I'd say....

Meeting the bros

This morning we took Colin up to the hospital to meet his brothers for the first time. I was so excited about this introduction that I could hardly sleep last night. I wanted everything to be just perfect. I laid in bed wondering, "Do we have the camera charged? Is the Flip video camera in my purse? Are his super cute jeans washed and ready? Is his Big Brother t-shirt clean?" I even called the NICU charge nurse at 11 pm last night to request our favorite nurse. 

I think that siblings are the best thing ever and so their meeting seemed so poignant. I'm so happy for them that they will have each other to grow up with.  In my own life, my brothers have meant the world to me. Sure my brother kyle once wore my coveted Notre Dame sweatshirt to high school without my knowing, just to infuriate me, which it did. When I saw him with it on I remember just seething with anger and hating him with all my might. He's also the only person who traveled half way across the world to a small village in Madagascar, to see my life in Peace Corps. He also showed up without notice to the hospital when I went on bed rest, just to make me laugh and hang out. Gavin and I can push each other's buttons like nobody's business, but we also spend an incredible amount of time together. We've backpacked together through Thailand, live less than a mile apart, and have the exact same sense of humor. When I think back on the highest and lowest points of my life thus far, by brothers have been right there to either celebrate with me, tease me, stand with me or make me laugh. And I hope I've been that for them too.

So this morning Chris went into the room first, camera ready, prepped to capture the glorious moment of our oldest meeting his siblings. However, before Colin could go in, the nurse had to take his temperature to confirm that he was healthy. He was not cool with that. Not at all. That got things off on the wrong foot and revealed that this was some sort of place where doctors hang out. He's not so interested in being anywhere near where doctors hang out. 

Eventually he settled from that and we walked in and took him baby to baby. He was VERY curious. We've been talking a lot about the babies at home, and he's been asking a lot about the babies so he had some sort of context but still wasn't quite sure what to make of the whole thing. Whatever he'd imagined when we'd talk about the babies, was different than what he saw. After only a few minutes he started saying, "Go home". 

This was not going how I'd planned.

Then I made the mistake of excitedly asking, "Should the babies come home with us?" In his sweetest voice, he looked right at me and said, "No."

Eventually he settled in a bit and even helped to change a diaper and give them their pacifiers. I think when the babies are home, away from the hospital setting and free of any monitors, it will be better. I hope!

Sweet Colin..... these babies are coming home with us..... I know it will be an adjustment but I also know you will be an incredible big brother and they will look up to you so very much. Even though you may not believe me now, I PROMISE you, someday you will look back on your life and think, "Where would I be?... Who would I be?.... without my brothers." And you will be thankful.

Little Miracles

I saw this quote tacked up to a bulletin board in the nicu today. 

“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” -Albert Einstein

These words couldn't be more true in a setting where babies are so often beating the odds against them.

Today I nursed each one of my boys.


 It was heaven and to me felt like my own little miracle.

P.S- Apparently Albert Einstein was a preemie :)

NICU days go something like this....

Finn, Carter, Everett

Everett

Carter- aka our little Benjamin Button

Finn

As you can see, there's lots of cuddling babies. 

I worried about what it would be like to essentially get to know your babies in the NICU. Before having these guys I'd never set foot in a NICU and the image I'd conjured up in my mind was pretty less than ideal to say the least.

The NICU experience is full of ups and downs, no doubt about that. The babies make awesome gains one day and then take a step back the next. It's to be expected with premature babies who are still so little, but none the less the set backs can feel like a real bummer sometimes.

Overall, getting to know each of these little babies in this setting has been one of the greatest joys of our lives. It truly has. The NICU space is incredibly peaceful and very quiet. We spend all day going baby to baby kangarooing them, feeding them, changing their diapers, soothing them and just getting to know each of their little personalities, which are already revealing themselves. It doesn't feel overwhelming, rather it feels amazing that somehow WE get to be the ones chosen to care for these boys.

We absolutely love it.