Sleep, I remember you so fondly....

What has gotten into my good sleeper?!

Since only 4 weeks, my little angel has slept through the night. 10 p.m-4 a.m, and then at 4, he'd come into bed with us, I'd nurse him and he'd easily fall back asleep and sleep until around 8 or 9. It was rare that we didn't get 8 hours.

More recently, he was going to bed at 8 p.m like clockwork. We'd simply place him in his crib, turn on his music box and he'd wave goodbye. He'd get up fairly early but we wouldn't hear a peep from him all night. Then, he'd nap mid day 2-3 hours.

My mother would always comment, "I just can't get over what a good sleeper he is! You don't know how lucky you are!"

And we were always like, "What? All babies don't sleep like this?"

Then, we went on vacation.

And the awesome sleep schedule went to hell.

We can't seem to get him back in his old routine.

He stays up late, as if he's also interested in watching "Top Chef" or "The Bachelorette." Try and put him down and he screams.

He awakens multiple times a night, and hasn't napped longer than an hour at a time, if that.

Last night when he awoke at around 1:00 a.m. we brought c into bed with us. I know, I know... probably putting fuel on the fire.... but we were exhausted and the fact is that he'll usually sleep soundly if he's in bed with us.

But here's the thing. He wasn't sharing bed with us last night. No, no, no. We were in HIS bed. Little c was spread out ( how a 22 lb person can manage to take up a whole bed, I'm not sure), and Chris and I were on the very edges of the bed, not daring to move for fear of waking him.

And actually, sleeping on the two inch periphery of the bed might easily be worth it if he slept the whole night through. But he didn't. He was up at 2,3,4,5..... At one point, he even sat up and pointed to play with one of his toys. Are you kidding me, little man?! There's no playing with toys in the middle of the night!

Maybe he's getting more teeth, I don't know....

All I know is that I hope a two week vacation, where we were all lax about bed time, nap time etc, didn't alter the awesome sleep schedule forever.

Tell me this isn't forever....

Lazy Days

Today may have been one of the laziest days of all time. I was SOOOOO tired. Can I blame it on the last two, intense weeks of fertility "stuff"?

I could have slept until noon easily. However, I was awakened nose to nose by little c (he'd been in our bed since about 5:00 a.m.). We cuddled and dozed some more until around 8:30 (one of the few benefits of him being SO off schedule from vacation is that since he's up later, he sleeps slightly later).

I made one cup of coffee while wishing I could down the WHOLE pot (I'm trying to limit my caffeine since the IUI and all).

This was our day:

• Cuddled on the couch in our p.j.s watching a little of "The View" and a lot of "Sesame Street".

• Moved upstairs to do laundry, got dressed. Really, we cranked up the music and danced around. Having a toddler allows you to be as silly as you want. Colin LOVES my silly dancing and he's right there with me showing off his moves.

• Got tired and took a nap together. I got up just before he did so I organized a bag of socks I've been meaning to go through forever. Whatever socks did not have a partner, I tossed. It was liberating.

• Woke up, we moved downstairs and I made him a beautiful, very tasty open faced cheddar cheese sandwich. I used an english muffin, spread copious amounts of butter on it, and then melted cheddar on top in the oven. My mouth was watering. I carefully cut it into bite size pieces and offered it to the king sitting in his high chair. He wanted nothing to do with it. So I cut up fruit- same deal....

• Took him out of the high chair and he sat next to me on a bar stool as we watched t.v. and I ate a snack. Whenever a commercial would come on with a song, he'd start dancing, and then would look at me and point. So I'd dance too.

I may not have gotten much of anything done today (except for the sock bag), but I sure had fun with my little man.

Cuddling, laughing, napping, and dancing with your baby is not a bad way to pass the day. I highly suggest it.

And the waiting begins....

Anyone who has been trying to conceive for any length of time knows:

The Two Week Wait SUCKS!

It should be called, "The two week wait that feels like a month". Because that's what it feels like.

I think this one will be the hardest wait of all for me because this was the first time undergoing IUI and we are so very very hopeful! High counts, great timing, good size follicle, "beautiful" lining- as the technician said :-), pretty relaxed attitude (just off two wonderful vacations)....

Bottom line, my husband and I are feeling really good that maybe, just maybe THIS is finally the month that our next bean starts growing.

The past two weeks have flown by, probably because this month so far has required blood draw after blood draw, test after test, and shot after shot. I was so entirely focused on staying organized with everything that had to be scheduled, faxed and done that before I knew it, it was time for the actual procedure. By the way, as an admitted disorganized, occasional forgetful mommy, I am SO proud of myself for actually pulling this off. All appointments were scheduled at the right locations, on the right days, meds were picked up in the right locations, injections were administered properly (maybe with the exception of that one Not for Human Use incident).

Anyway, based on these last two whirlwind weeks, I assumed that throughout this two week wait, I'd continue going to the office for a blood draw or something. But when I asked the nurse about it today, she just said, "Nope, just do a pregnancy test in two weeks". She may as well just said, "Go home and stew about it, over analyze every possible symptom, and keep re-counting the passing days in the hopes that you miss counted and it IS actually time to test."

Not that I'm going to do any of those things....

So.... here we wait.

Is it bad that I'm already counting on my fingers and plotting when I can take my first pregger test?

First Follistim Injection- YIKES!

Well, as it turns out I wasn't so brave after all.

I paced with the needle ready to go for almost an hour before getting the courage to stick myself.

(me prepping)

I'd say to Chris, "Ok, I'm ready"

and he'd count, "1,2,3..."

and then I'd chicken out

Over and over and over....

Finally I did it

Just as Chris was congratulating me and I was celebrating the fact that it was over, Chris noticed that the cartridge of medicine inside the pen said, "Not for human use".

NOT FOR HUMAN USE?!

WHAT?! Are you kidding me?!!!

The clinic where we're doing fertility treatments had given us a "free pen" which they said had been given to them by one of their pharmacutical reps

Had we received one meant for rats?? Immediately I imagined the poison I must have injected into me. Not only would it not help me have more babies, but maybe I'd keel over within the hour.

Chris was more measured in his response. He opened up the pen and below "Not for human use", it said that it contained a salt/ saline solution.

So the good news was, it wouldn't kill me.

The bad news was, I'd have to re-load the pen with the real medicine and give myself the shot again!

Awesome

The second time wasn't as bad

What finally helped me to just go for it, was watching a video of colin's first year, which we made for his first birthday. It starts out with a clip of my tiny, perfect, just one day old little man being placed in my arms at the hospital for a feeding

That was all it took

Shots and Happiness

So far today I was stuck with needles two times and I'm prepping for a third tonight

Our journey to meet our future babies has kicked into high gear

This morning I had blood work in my right arm

This afternoon I had blood work in my left arm

18 vials in all

Tonight I start my injectible shots and in about two weeks I'll undergo IUI

Something you should know about me:

I hate shots!

Natural childbirth.... okay, sounds good.... but a blood draw or shot, no thank you!

But this is different

This time, I'm practically skipping to get my shots

Because with each shot, with each blood draw, I'm closer to meeting our future babies

Colin is closer to meeting his brother or sister

Let's do this!

Flying home

I feel like we've been on vacation for weeks now!

What a treat it has been to have Chris off of work for over two weeks!

We spent a week at the beach with my family and then headed to Montana for Grandmother's 90th.

I just loved seeing my grandmother beaming at her party while surrounded by her family.

She deserves it.

At one point she leaned over to me and said,

"Do you know that I've rocked and diapered over half the people here?"

I didn't know that but it made me smile

Our flight home was uneventful.

Colin slept

Chris slept

I read and dozed

On the ride home, the three of us squished into the back of a taxi and little c reached out and held my hand.

Heaven

Then he wanted goldfish.

Happy 90th Birthday Grandmother!

Today we celebrated my Grandmother's 90th birthday in Montana. She's an amazing woman and I hope that in 10 years we'll gather here again to celebrate her 100th!

Here are some of my favorite pictures of the day:

Me, Grandmother and my mom

The cousins; Allison, Sarah, Erika, Kevin, Gavin, me and Chris

Grandmother and her brother Clay, dancing

Colin and Sunny, Kevin's little girl

My cousin Kevin's son Sabastin, with little c. They were so fun to watch!

Bonfire time!

Yucky day

Today was a yucky day

I spent all morning working on a statistics assignment for graduate school, while wishing I was playing with c and C

Then we took c to the doctor

On our way there, Chris drove as I feed c a blueberry scone in the back seat and kept handing him his bottle of milk.

Fattening him up for the dreaded weigh-in.

He only gained 2 pounds.

They always say the same thing,

"He needs to gain weight"

OKAY...- I agree. Ideas on how? This boy just is NOT hungry. He picks but doesn't ever chow down.

And then came the vaccines

When c was born, we decided to space out the vaccines. It felt like the right decision at the time.

Maybe it wasn't, maybe it was. I followed my gut.

This doctor, who was not our normal doctor, was also not a fan of spacing vaccines.

I felt chastised for my decision to space. Bullied into "catching up" by injecting him with LOT's of vaccines on this visit.

In the end, he got a bunch (though not as many as the doctor had hoped).

We left, both of us feeling yucky for different reasons.

I felt yucky because I can't seem to help my baby gain weight and because my mommy decisions, made with only the best intentions for my baby, seemed to be chastised.

I'm really just doing my very best I can to keep my baby feed, happy, and healthy.

C left feeling yucky from the shots.

Holding your baby down for shots just sucks. Period.

Vacation over....

Our vacation in Long Beach, IN has come to an end..... boo hoo!

I'm so thankful to my parents for providing a place for us to gather. I love sitting with the original Mooney 5- my parents, and bros- as well as our "grown up" families.... my husband, son, sister-n-law, my brother's girlfriend.....

My brothers and I tell old stories from our childhood and lovingly tease each other... (i.e. Gav's foot fungus, my inability to catch a certain star runner at our high school, camping vacations)... We reminise, eat lots of food and laugh. Our spouses laugh too. It's the best.

As predicted, Colin LOVED the beach. Chris also LOVED the beach- or should I say, digging on the beach. He would dig and colin would help with his mini shovel, proud to be Daddy's assistant. I couldn't tell who was having more fun.

Maybe me.... because while they dug endlessly in the sand, I got to sit on my butt, feet in the sand, reading a novel. Something I haven't done in a while.

When not reading, I'd let myself daydream about our future babies- brothers or sisters for colin. I'm so impatient to meet them. I can't wait for the day, when I'm sitting on the beach, watching them all play together.